First, some context (without meaning to sound braggy):
I am a musician. I took piano lessons from ages five to eighteen. I started playing the trumpet in the fifth grade and began lessons a few years later. My degree is in instrumental music education, and trumpet was my main instrument. I was part of jazz ensemble, symphonic band, brass ensemble, orchestra, pep band, and various weddings and church gigs over the course of my jr. high, high school, and college career (all of the above in college). I've taught private piano and trumpet lessons since I was in junior high (out of my home, then at a private studio, and now, out of my home, again). I've toured both domestically and internationally with performing groups. I have and do accompany soloists. I currently play trumpet in a community band and keyboard for our church praise team.
All that said, I have never really been the type of musician who has a great, true appreciation for music. As I read that back, it seems like an extreme statement. It's not as it may seem, but I don't know any other way to say it, at this point. I'll try to explain, though...hear me out: I've always been so involved in music that I've had a hard time making/finding time to enjoy it outside of my own performances. Of course, I have taken advantage of opportunities to attend various special concerts and have always supported musician friends by attending their performances, but to truly seek out and strive to take in as much live music as possible has always seemed out of my reach, mostly due to my schedule and the other things I wanted to spend time doing. During my post-college time in Lincoln, I was able to attend several amazing performances through the non-profit management office I worked for (still one of the most unique work experiences I've had...or heard of - haha. I wrote a post about it early on in my time there...and added lots of duties to the list in the years following.), but I usually had some sort of duty at these events, so wasn't able to focus 100% on the music, necessarily. I often have music playing as I go about my day, but it has often been required listening to prepare for my own performance, something I've listened to several times, or simply something I'm not consciously listening to. I have and do come across new music when people share it, but haven't always sought it out on my own.
Additionally, my brain doesn't work in a way that easily remembers/comprehends/connects performers, composers, bands to their specific sounds, songs, and pieces of music. Same goes for movie quotes. I often recognize melodies (or lines, if we're still talking about movie quotes), but I'm only just beginning to have enough history with some of them to recall the name of the piece, recognize the style of the performer/band, or be able to name the composer (or movie/character/scene).
Of course, as a music major, I spent hours and hours in classes (and lessons) where I was asked to do just this. I memorized birth and death dates. I attached names to melodies. I learned traits associated with different musical periods. I was able to do all this in small batches, but it was mostly for the sake of the grade, and not as much for the sake of my own musical appreciation/knowledge. To this day, I'm embarrassed to not be able to really "talk shop" with other musicians (esp. trumpet players), because I can't always speak to my favorite player, group, piece in a particular genre, etc. (Sorry, Dean...) I can't always hear a song and say, "Oh, that sounds like so-and-so," whether or not it's a cover. Unless I've seen a musical several times, I don't always remember what songs go with which (unless it's Wicked, in which case I can probably sing the entire soundtrack from memory...and that's just because I've listened to it so, so many times.). This isn't to say I'm never able to draw these connections, recognize a composer/performing group, or remember the name of a particular song. I am obviously able to do so on some level, just not the level I would like or think I should be able to.
I've found I'm much better able to recall/comprehend music if I have something personal to attach to it, and even more-so if it's a deep emotional attachment. I'll always remember the first time I actually cried (rather than just tearing up) during worship ("Here I Am to Worship" at CIY). I haven't yet forgotten the exact musical moments when I was moved to tears while performing a couple band pieces in college (near the end of the fifth movement, "Hobbits," of the Lord of the Rings Symphony and the climax of our NMEA perfornamce of "O Magnum Mysterium"). I was too emotional to participate in the a capella verse of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" at our wedding. It was so beautiful and meaningful to hear all our friends and loved ones' voices blending together in harmony and worship. There's a Christian lullaby CD we were given before Jacob was born that was on repeat during many late-night feedings early in his life. Those songs will always take me back to those sweet, emotional moments. I could probably list more examples here, but those give you an idea. Again - I'm not sure why my brain doesn't better retain this sort of information, but it is what it is.
Now, to bring it to the original subject of this post:
A few months ago, Bryant heard a local musician interviewed on a local radio station to promote his string quartet's free concerts. My husband, as usual, knows me better than I know myself and acted on the opportunity to hear live music on the cheap, because he thought I'd enjoy it. So, he told me about the group, and we planned to attend a concert.
If I'm being honest, I wouldn't say I'm really "into" string music (no offense intended, at all...just hasn't always been my thing. Maybe it's because I'm a brass player...?). This concert, however, was so refreshing and enjoyable, and apparently, necessary for me. For one thing, the respite of sitting still for an hour was a treat. Being able to simply listen to other people perform was also just so nice. I think part of the reason I enjoyed the listening aspect so much was a control thing; someone else was in control of that situation - worrying about having enough programs, directing people to the restrooms, setting out the reception treats, etc. For me, being able to sit back and listen to other people perform music (that I had no preconceived notions about - it was Haydn and Beethoven, but I did not recognize the particular pieces/movements to know exactly what they would/should sound like) was very calming and refreshing. If I'm being poetic about it, I was able to be still and let the music wash over me. I was able to focus on the musical lines and motives, and at some point while doing so, I realized my mind wasn't wandering. For my brain to not have 53 tabs open at once is such a rare occurrence. Yes, as a musician, I was listening critically (though I don't know that I heard (or picked up on) any mistakes) and analytically, but it was surprising and wonderful to truly be able to have a singular focus for several moments. It was so peaceful, and not just because they were playing classical music. My mind needed the break as much as my body did.
I've heard (esp. recently) that art inspires art. I listen to a couple authors' podcasts, and they often talk about how much they do or don't read in order to be inspired. They also discuss seeking out other mediums to fill their creative souls. I couldn't help but think about how the quartet performance (art) was inspiring me, both in the moment and afterward. During the performance, I was able to appreciate the immense skill and talent it took to perform those pieces at the level they did. I was inspired by their passion for the music (enough to perform it free of charge) and the words they shared about why they do what they do. Afterward, I was able to reflect to the point of wanting to get it all out "on paper" and am so glad to have a (small) platform to do so (which I don't often think of as a form of art, but I believe it is). I have also been inspired to strive to play more of the (piano) music in my collection. I've inherited and been given so, so much music - of all genres and from all time periods. This inspiration to take time to play more was affirmed by Jacob wanting to bring his musical instruments (a jingle bell stick and harmonica, in this instance) downstairs when he heard me practicing. We rarely have a silent home, but it's often podcasts or that week's worship set filling our ears. There's nothing wrong with either of those, but I feel I need to do a better job of exposing him to a variety of music, both live and recorded.
On another note (pun not originally intended), we made a date night out of the concert and happened to drive by the original KC Joe's on our way to the place we'd planned to dine that evening. Like a bear to honey (I was going to use the "moth to the flame" analogy, but it didn't feel right in this context...you get the idea), we turned around and took advantage of the time we had to stand in line (though it was short on a Tuesday night) and the fact that they weren't sold out of burnt ends (speaking of art...). It wasn't the fancy night out we'd originally planned, but it was just as (perhaps even more) delicious. There were also homemade treats after the concert, so we were glad we hadn't stopped for dessert, beforehand.
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| The concert took place in a beautiful church sanctuary, which of course, just added to the appeal and wonder of it all. |
I feel like I bore a piece of my soul that hasn't been brought to light, before. Thank you for being gracious and kind readers and allowing me to feel safe in doing so. I don't know that I adequately explained the points I was trying to make here, but I know it was a lot of words, already, so thanks for bearing with me. ♥
Inspired-ly,
Kensy
P.S. I edited this post in a trendy coffee shop in downtown KC on my 10(?)-yr.-old-17-inch-screen-Toshiba laptop. It didn't fit on one of the bar-top ledges they had set up for people like me who've come to work there. I don't think I've ever felt so old so unexpectedly...
Favorites of the day:
flip-flop season (you saw that one coming)
Kouign Amann (a planned indulgence) and this beautiful pineapple twist (a surprise treat)
an unexpected family photo at a recent alumni event
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| TBH - we just went for the free food...and for the perfect opportunity for J to wear the shirt the university sent us when he was born. ☺ |
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