J the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, V Bad Day

Happy spring!  Isn't it amazing what coming out of "hibernation" can do for the body and soul?  And relationships?  It felt like we hadn't seen our neighbors in months, and now, we see them nearly every day!

Coming to you today to expand on what I originally intended to be a short Instagram post.  Not the first time I've had more words to share than I thought we appropriate for a caption.  

If you're familiar with the book the title of this post references, I'll tell you that Jacob's day on Monday may not have went down exactly like Alexander's, but I'm fairly certain he'd use the same adjectives to describe it.  It was truly the worst day of his life...in my memory, at least.  To be fair, there may have been worse days very early on that I've either forgotten due to the he-can-do-no-wrong newborn phase or due to mom-brain.  

Either way, Monday was a day like no other, for him (and therefore, me).  For at least 50% of his awake, non-eating time, he was whining/crying/lamenting and inconsolable.  Usually, if I ask him what's wrong (Are you hurt?  Are you sad we left the park?  Did you want that toy instead of this one?), he'll stop crying at least long enough to say "Yes," if not longer, to hear me out and make a plan to make it better.  On this terrible day, though, everything was wrong and nothing was fixable.  We even ran and errand and went to the park, and while these outings provided a bit of reprieve, it was short-lived.  (For example, while we were are the park, he simultaneously wanted to stay there and go home...)

This unexplained behavior/emotional roller coaster of a day left me feeling baffled and exhausted.  I didn't say as much to anyone while it was happening (mostly because I was trying to appease the unappeasable kiddo and/or trying to get anything else done), but I'd filled Bryant in a bit.  When he came home and saw things hadn't gotten better after naptime, he promptly sent me out of the house.  I had planned to run some errands after he got home that evening, but he told me to be sure to get supper while I was out doing those, and generally, take some time to myself.

I enjoyed a lovely meal - outside!
SPIN Pizza had sent a triple-points promotion I didn't think I'd be able to take advantage of, but I did!  You know how I love to take advantage of a deal. 
It was delicious and wonderful.

While I didn't think my time away was necessarily necessary, Bryant (once again) knew me better than I knew myself.  I needed quiet and peace and stillness.  I needed be able to relax and know someone else was in charge of J for a bit.  I needed to receive their videos where both said they loved me (J's was unprompted and included a blown kiss).  I needed to come home to find a tiny garbage truck, which I knew was requested (because they're currently J's favorite vehicle), drawn complete with details I would've never thought to include.

Driving down the road to pick up those two trash bags, of course.

As usual, I do not intend to brag, though my amazing hubby deserves to be bragged about. Rather, I just want to be transparent share this "low" among so many "highs" that come across our feeds.  Jacob really has been a pretty easy kiddo thus far, and people often comment on how happy and easy-going he is, and he IS.  He has his not-so-happy moments, though, and apparently, days, as well.

(While we're on the subject of transparency: Jacob has also developed a grabbing/pinching habit...both at home and at library storytime.  At home, I can react and correct, as needed, but it's so hard to know how to break him of this habit in public.  He doesn't do it hard enough to hurt anyone at the library, so those kiddos just look at him like, "Hey, man - what are you doing?!"  By the time I notice and get to him to tell him "No," the moment has passed, and he doesn't necessarily have any visible remorse.  We practice gentle touches both in and out of context (immediately after an incident, as well as unrelated to one), and we talk through how we should treat people (even by name) SO often.  I'm having a hard time not being self-conscious about it, and I struggle to remember this behavior is not a reflection on me or our parenting.  Of course, we're not telling him to grab people and/or pull hair - quite the opposite, in fact.  It's just his way of acting out/testing boundaries, at the moment, and I feel bad it is sometimes at the expense/discomfort of others.)

Anyway, the next day, he was almost completely back to his normal, mostly-agreeable, happy self (which I quickly realized I often take for granted).  We went to CFA for some free breakfast, and even saw a (green!) garbage truck in action while we were there.  The day was not without some tears and whines, but it was definitely more normal for us both, and for that, I was very grateful.

My CFA date. ♥
He was up for taking a picture, but apparently, was going for the "16-yr.-old after mom's already taken 473 pictures" look.
I showed him the picture and asked where his smile was... 

...and he voluntarily went back and tried again.
☺

I just couldn't pass up this jacket for $3 at a consignment sale last season.
Also, he chose to wear his church shoes, rather than his every-day tennies. ♥

Thanks for letting me safely share all of this.  I realize this kind of day may be the norm for some kiddos (with or without behavioral diagnoses) and probably seems trivial for those who are dealing with children's health issues, etc.  Some of you may be thinking "He's almost two - this is just the beginning of the "Terrible Two's," of course."  For us, though, this was an uncharacteristically bad day, and again, I wanted to share about it out of appreciation for my husband AND in an effort to keep it real up in here.  😉

With greater distance from the end of my rope than two days ago,
Kensy
😉

Favorites of the day:

open windows

new friends

...especially ones who bring you little tiny cinnamon rolls...

...and sweet primrose plants...because she knows you love little things.

This face.
(Brought to you by a fun egg decorating contraption Bryant's family brought on their recent (super fun) visit).

Life-giving/Joy-inducing

Happy mid-(late) February!  

For as excruciatingly long as January seemed, February is flying by - over here, at least.  Anyone else?

In the case that you're sitting at home on yet another snow(y) day, here's a lengthy blog post for ya!  In the case that you were hoping this would be a quick read, I do apologize.  I probably should've split this into two posts, but you'll see how the topics are related and can just read it in pieces, if necessary.  Or just skim.  Or just look at the pictures.  Or stop reading right here.  You do you.

For those still reading...

I recently listened to a podcast interview during which they discussed, among other things, the importance of Sabbath.  I'm not going to get into it all here (for now, at least), but the main idea questioned why we don't seem to place as much weight on this commandment as the others.  I doubt I'm the only one who sometimes forgets this is a true commandment, and though it's not punishable by law, it is right up there with "thou shalt not commit murder."  Not too long ago, I wrote about our fairly-new "margin" practices (here), and I think those relate to Sabbath, or count for something, at least.  But this interview also reminded me of a couple "bigger" life-giving "things" (for lack of a better word) I've been a part of in the recent past.

The first: stamping weekend.  I know I've mentioned this regularly-occurring event in my "favorites" several times, but I don't think I've ever explained it!  So, in a nutshell: stamping weekend is a long weekend dedicated to making cards using rubber stamps and many, many other card-making supplies.  It has also been designated as time to work on scrapbooks, though I've never done so, and many do not use it for this, anymore.  My aunt and uncle host the weekend three to four times a year and guests include a couple close friends, my mom, and whatever corresponding spouses and kids are able to be there, including myself.  (Whenever I attend, guests also include any of my friends who are able to stop by for a visit! ☺)  The ladies take over the kitchen counters, dining room, and extra tables with gobs of stamps, paper, special gadgets and tools, paper cutters, embellishments, etc., etc.  They take turns making meals, so only one person steps away from their progress at a time (though they usually all help each other out, anyway).  Everyone brings snacks and yummy treats to share.  Meanwhile, the men either work on outside projects (including, but not limited to, building a deck, cutting down trees, and mowing), watch sports, or watch movies.

This weekend has always been life-giving to me, because of the amount of quality time we're all able to spend together, the productivity that takes place, the creativity I'm able to unleash, the delicious food, and the lack of other obligations over the course of a few days.  It was especially life-giving this time around, because it served as a brief retreat from motherhood, some important uninterrupted conversation time, and a couple mornings to stay in bed as long as I pleased (I almost wrote "sleep in," but I wasn't that far removed from my "mommy schedule" - haha)!

I have next to no pictures of this most-recent stamping weekend, because we truly had our noses to the grindstone making cards!  Here are a couple, though!

One of my favorite Lincoln restaurants closed a few years ago, but they just reopened in a new location (closer to my aunt and uncle's), so you'd better believe we went for lunch...which included their amazing Brussels sprouts!)!

I made over 60 cards over the course of the weekend! 
Many were fairly simple or just assembling pieces I'd already created, but still - was well worth the trip/time!

Here's one of them - made for a sweet friend's second birthday!
All credit/props/kudos goes to my sis-in-law who designed Elmo and Cookie Monster. 
You know, of course, I just couldn't handle the tiny little cookie!  Haha.  Needless to say, we mass-produced some of these guys, so if you have a little one, you may be seeing them on a future card...

The second life-giving "thing" I was involved in recently was IF:Northside - a livestream of the IF:Gathering at our church!  There are several reasons this was life-giving for me:

-The "duties."  I was the first to say "yes" to helping organize this, so ended up sort-of heading it up.  This meant I was able to dust off some of my previous event-planning experience and administrative skills, and I have to say, it felt really good!  I haven't had (or maybe just haven't taken advantage of) a lot of opportunities to show these "colors" since living in KC, so I think my leadership may have come as a surprise to some, and perhaps a bit of a surprise even to me - haha.  I was really glad to be able to help out in this way and am looking forward to future events!

-The fellowship.  This was the first opportunity we'd had in several months for the women of our congregation to gather and spend quality, intentional time getting to know each other.  You know how I feel about building relationships, so this was absolutely life-giving for that reason.  It was especially sweet to not only build relationships with others, myself, but also to witness others doing so with each other.

-The snack pot-luck. ☺

-The (donated, so FREE) Scooter's coffee!

-The content.  I won't attempt to share everything that was meaningful, interesting, and important, because it ALL was!  There were speakers I'd heard from before (and looked forward to seeing, again!), as well as new faces and fresh messages.

-The worship.  Because I play keys on our worship team most Sunday's, I don't often have the opportunity to partake in corporate worship as a non-performer, if you will (please don't read into this term and think I see leading worship as just a performance, or anything like that - don't need to go down that rabbit hole...simply couldn't think of a better way to describe it in this instance).  It was also extra-wonderful to stop singing, myself, and listen to the other women's beautiful voices lifted together in praise.  ♥

I did a science experiment in the 4th grade that used flowers and colored water. 
Imagine my surprise when I ran across this as a decor idea!
(They didn't change quite as much as I'd expected by the next day, but were still pretty!)

Put my Cricut to good use cutting lots of circles!
(Special thanks to Joann's for having the perfect colors of paper on sale for 70% off at just the right time!)

The theme was celebratory and bright colors, so thanks to Dollar Tree party supplies and a little time, we created a corresponding photo backdrop.

Fun pens and journals for everyone!

We had close to 50 ladies in these seats over the course of the weekend!

♥♥♥

So thankful my mom and BFF (who was mistaken as my sister a couple times just this weekend) were able to attend the whole conference!

Obviously, there are other "things," both bigger and smaller than these two, that give me life and bring me joy, but these are the ones I'm sharing with you, today.  Perhaps you can relate.  What's "life-giving" in your life, right now?  Is there something you'd like to do that you could, but haven't, for some reason?  Do it.  Totally worth it.

Joyfully,
Kensy

P.S. After working on this post for a couple weeks, I'm starting to second-guess using the term "life-giving," but don't want to go back and change it all.  So, just know that by "life-giving" I simply mean these things have brought me great joy...or "sparked joy," if you want to get trendy.  ;)

Favorites of the day:

dark chocolate

"Snow days" that mean no morning library storytime, and instead, watching some of "The Price is Right" with a snack and a kitty lapwarmer.  ☺

♥☺♥☺♥

Living the Dream

As you may already know, Bryant works one weekend every couple months.  To compensate for working the weekend days, he gets two days off the week prior.  While working the weekend isn't awesome, it is convenient to be able to schedule various appointments and get things done on those weekdays.  He and Jacob also usually have a boys' day, giving me a whole weekday to myself!  You'd better believe I make the most of it, and this time around was no exception.

After having breakfast and some playtime with the boys before they headed out on their own adventures, I took some time to work on a couple things for church (I haven't shared about it here, yet, but I started a weekly mom's group and was also asked to help host a women's conference next year).  

Then, I headed to my haircut appointment at The Glam Room.  I don't usually give unsolicited recommendations, but you guys - if you're in KC, you need to check them out.  (If you're not into knowing alllll the details about finding a new salon you love, feel free to skip the rest of this paragraph...)  The first time I walked into The Glam Room was after my stylist of three years moved out of state and I was looking for a close, affordable-yet-reputable salon that could get me in that same day.  I happened upon The Glam Room and took the only appointment available, which was with a stylist named Cassandra.  I know I've already written too many words about this, but it was seriously unlike any haircut I've had before.  Before doing anything besides shake my hand, she sat down with me and asked several questions about my lifestyle, my "beauty" routine, my hair, my feelings about my hair, good hair days, bad hair days, etc., etc.  It was not at all intrusive, but rather, refreshingly introspective and considerate.  She proceeded to follow the normal wash/cut/style routine, but included a complimentary deep-conditioning treatment and lovely conversation all the way through.  She also gave me several tips/facts/insights about hair in general and my specific hair/style that served me well in my routine and hair care between haircut appointments.  This week's visit was only my second, but it was just as good as the first.  After finding out my thumbs were cracked from the dry weather, she suggested doing a paraffin dip.  I told her it probably wasn't in the budget, but then, she got permission to do a complimentary dip!  Ya'll know how I love "freebies," and this one was just so thoughtful and practical; I (obviously) really appreciated it.  She also sent me out the door with a little bit of an upgraded style, since I was accompanying Christmas carols for the Fab 50's group at church that evening.

I know that was a lot, but I just wanted to give credit where credit was due.  I sure hope you're still reading, though, because I have some more really amazing things to share with you.

My next "appointment" that day was lunch with my BFF.  I've told you before, but I'm going to tell you again: we're living our dream living in the same town as adults.  I know I'm so blessed to have a best friend from childhood, in general, but it is just beyond that we get to continue to do life in such close proximity.  *all the praise hands and heart eye emojis*

Anyway, we met at Succotash for lunch.  They serve breakfast food all day, so of course, that's what we had.  It was delish.  I will be back.

♥

Our next stop was ScrapsKC.  I can't possibly explain everything about this place, but in short, it's a craft supply thrift store the benefits the homeless community.  Just writing that sentence knowing you're going to know about it, now, seriously makes me excited.  They call themselves a "Creative Reuse Center," and say of themselves, "ScrapsKC inspires creativity in art and education, positively impacts the environment, and provides hope for the homeless."  Not only do they have an overwhelming inventory of all sorts of craft/building/creating supplies, but they provide several services for the homeless AND they serve teachers in the area by allowing them to shop for their classroom for free.

This is how we felt about ScrapsKC.
The picture doesn't do our feelings justice, though.

We found soooo many treasures, and we didn't even feel like we saw everything in the hour and a half we were able to spend there.  We resisted purchasing some of these treasures, but there were several we couldn't resist.  I won't list them all, but wanted to share one thing in particular:

I was on the look-out for some scrap leather to try my hand at making earrings with my Cricut.  I found several beautiful pieces, including one I was extra excited about.  I also found one little package of earring hardware, so was able to put these together: 

The reason I was so excited to find the buffalo plaid pattern was because I'd just finished making a Christmas shirt with the same pattern!  The K-Mart down the street is going out of business, so I scoured the store for some plain shirts to personalize with some iron-on vinyl, and I was so excited to find a couple and be able to make this shirt for just a couple dollars:

Neither projects turned out perfectly, but they're good enough for me
(and surely good enough for the couple times I'll wear them each year - haha).

The fun continued the next evening with a Favorite Things party with Kansas City friends!  While I was sad to miss out on the one in NE this year, I was so glad to be part of this gathering with sweet friends.  We had delicious appetizers and desserts, good conversation, and a fun time sharing some of our most favorite (and practical!) things.  (If I haven't shared with you about "Favorite Things" parties, yet, please ask.  They're the best.)

I came home to a sleeping baby, folded clean laundry, and a husband meal-prepping in the kitchen, pulling freshly baked biscuits out of the oven. 

Please know that I realize how incredibly lucky/blessed/fortunate I am to not only have the time and resources to spend a day like this, but also a husband who encourages me to do so.  I do not share this to brag, to evoke any sort of jealousy, or to put myself above anyone else.  I'm simply grateful and thought I'd share.  Also, I wanted to spread the word about all the awesome places I've been discovering!

A word to the mamas reading this: if you're in need of a day like this, but for whatever reason, are unable to get it, please reach out to someone and try to make it happen.  If you're in KC, I'd be glad to watch your kiddos, pay for a ScrapsKC shopping spree, do your laundry, bake you something, whatever - seriously.  You deserve it. 

Refreshedly,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

Favorite Things parties

holiday goodies, both sweet and savory

new friendships (I know I've listed this more than once, recently, but it's just something I'm really glad about, lately.)

Margin

I'm writing to you during a time that is listed on my calendar as "hobby time," which is something the cool kids these days would refer to as "margin."

This word, "margin," began showing up very prevalently in my life several weeks ago following a conversation my husband and I had about needing to make time during the week for us as individuals to do things we want to do.  We had kind-of made a plan to implement this, and then, "margin" started showing up everywhere.  The concept came up in sermons I heard and conversations I had.  It was discussed on almost every podcast I listen to, both new episodes and ones I was catching up on, and even mentioned by name on a couple.  Then, we started a worship team Bible study; the title?  "Margin."  I couldn't believe it.  I thanked God over and over for such clarity.  This message He was trying to convey was coming through more clearly than any of recent memory.

While it may be a sort of buzzword these days, and therefore, might seem fleeting like most trends, I think the concept of "margin" is very important.  Creating time for your own enjoyment, personal development, hobbies, whatever it may be, can allow your brain to be used in a different way, your heart to be opened, your mind to be cleared, and your body (and dare I say, your soul) to be refreshed.  Taking this time for yourself can allow you to reconnect with yourself, which in turn, can lead to better/stronger connections with those around you.

I realize this all might sound a little lofty or unrealistic.  Me saying, "Take time to find yourself!" "Find some quiet space in your life!" "Do what you love!" might conjure thoughts of a girl in a sunny field of wildflowers with her face to the sun, a yogi in child's pose, or a leather chair and warm beverage, and you're rolling your eyes.  You're thinking, "Yeah right.  Who has time for that?!"  There are certainly circumstances and seasons in life that seemingly make any downtime or spare moments impossible.  Whether it's a matter of time, money, lack of childcare, whatever - this idea of "margin" can feel unattainable for many.

However...

I've heard many times that you make time for the things you value most.  I've read articles about the fact that we spend so much of our time doing things we don't actually need to spend time doing.  Statistics show our screen time is off the charts.  People are often heard saying, "I'm so busy!" and "I'm too busy!" and having to start saying no's, because they've said too many yes's.

It wasn't necessarily easy for us to find this "margin" time in our what-we-thought-was-already-pretty-full weekly schedule; it took some thought, effort, and a little trial-and-error.  We've made it work, though, and are better for it!  We are able to spend time doing the things that somehow got pushed completely off the "to-do" list by the more pressing items (By the way, it's still really difficult for me to not use "necessary," rather than "pressing" in that context.  I'm still working on defining the things I want to do as necessary; to put "self care" in the "necessary" category; to prioritize myself right up there with everyone else.).  We each get to spend a little time each week doing something that will refresh and recharge us.

So far, my personal margin time has been spent differently each week: I've gone bargain shopping with coupons in hand (one of my favorite things to do).  I've watched shows (at home in the guest room with doors closed - haha).  I've spent time stamping and organizing my stamping supplies (both things I enjoy).  And, as may be obvious, I've written blog posts!

My husband's "margin" time has also looked different each week and always looks very different from my own, because we're different people with different personalities and interests.  This is not to say that we don't enjoy spending time together.  Nor has this "margin" time taken the place of our weekly date night or other quality time together.  Rather, it is separate from and in addition to these things.

It IS possible to do this for yourself...and it's important!  It doesn't have to cost money.  It doesn't have to be out of the house (though if you're at home most of the day, I'd encourage you to make this a priority).  It doesn't have to be super exciting, adventuresome, or new.  It just needs to be what you want it to be, and for some of you, that might mean you need to let yourself figure out what that is, first.

I know this level of mandate is a little uncharacteristic of my posts, but as you've just read, this really means a lot to me.  I feel so cliché saying it, but as I get older, I'm learning more and more about myself and what it takes for me to be at my healthiest.  This is not something I'm working on alone; my husband has played a major role in this part of my personal development.  Without his encouragement (sometimes it's had to be more strong than others), I wouldn't have ever considered allowing myself to prioritize myself (that's my Enneagram 2 showing...and that's a whole other blog post - haha).  He's on his own journey, too, and I'm so proud of him.  So thankful to get to do life together!

Anyway, please seriously consider this for yourself.  I'm no expert, but would love to talk through it with you, if you want!  Would love to hear anything you're willing to share.

Until next time, friends. ☺

With margin (because "margin-ly" is too close to "marginally"),
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

my son - for so many reasons

cooler weather, open windows, prospect of fall, etc.

Aldi