Ready or not

I'm going to try my best not to compare my children - this is something I've thought a lot about, and though I know I won't perfectly accomplish this goal (esp. in my head), it's something I'm going to strive for, still.  

That said, it's been interesting to me to generally compare pregnancies, so that's what this is about.  At this time during my pregnancy with Jacob, he was already born!  (If you don't remember his birth story, you can read about it here.)  So, baby sister has already waited longer to come out than her big brother, and I expect the rest of her birth story to be very different, as well.  We'll see!

Then and now.

Don't tell her, but thanks to COVID-19 (and my husband, parents, friends, etc.) I've crossed everything off the pre-baby to-do list I made many months ago!  Of course, that means I immediately made new lists and continue to take advantage of the extra time I've been given (hence this blog post), but it sure does feel good to feel so settled/prepared.

We even crossed off one of our initial quarantine goals: making homemade Girl Scout cookies! 
They photographed ok, but certainly didn't turn out as expected - haha. 
Still very tasty, though, which is really all that matters!

People often ask if we're "ready," and though I don't know that I'll ever fully be ready (much like I've felt with marriage, first-time-parenthood, etc.), I do feel increasingly excited and anxious for her to arrive.  Though we've been through it before, the newborn phase seems daunting.  I know how fast it goes, but I also know how long it feels and how all-consuming it is, so I think that's why I don't know that I can say I'm "ready" for it.  Having so much squared away around the house, though, makes this easier - it helps to know just how much time and mental space I'll be able to devote to her (and Jacob) during the transition.  The house is cleaned, lawn mowed, garden watered, freezer stocked a bit, fall decorations up, laundry done (though this is never reallllly done), car seat installed, etc., etc.!  Plus, those new to-do lists are short and fairly non-essential.

The world still seems so crazy and out of control.  The unknowns (COVID-related do's and don't's, politics, job stuff, any potential travel/gathering plans) seem to outweigh the "knowns."  Those "known" things (God's love/grace/control, the imminent arrival of a sweet baby girl, the pure joy of a toddler), however, sure make the unknown ones less scary and more bearable.  So, for now, we're just truly enjoying some quality time together - our last few days as a family of three.

We'll be as close to "ready" as we can be whenever this little girl wants to join us on the outside.  In the meantime, we're making memories, making the most of our time, and making sure to be thankful for the many blessings and silver linings this life continues to offer.

Readily,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

how excited J was to put up fall decorations

perfect pool days

good customer service

Glasses and Ponytail

Coming to you live from nap time!  So, this one is gonna be short and sweet. ☺

Jacob's latest favorite thing is my glasses.  I don't know when or how the obsession started.  I don't know why he's so into them.  What I do know is that he says his word for them starting the moment I walk into his room in the morning.  I also know he's talking about them throughout each day, whether I have them on or choose to wear my contacts.  If I'm wearing my contacts and we're home, he sometimes goes to our room to the place where the glasses are to ask me to put them on.  If we're out and about, he asks where they are (if I'm wearing contacts) or comments on them (if I'm wearing them).

The kicker?  After saying his word for them, he often makes the sound I make when I'm prepping them to be wiped off.  You know, the "h" sound you make when you're huffing on them to fog them up before cleaning them?  He makes that sound at any mention of glasses - whether he's the one doing the mentioning or he hears someone else say the word.  Again, I don't know how or when this started; only that, apparently, I clean them often...probably because someone is always getting tiny fingerprints on them...

The boy also loves when I have my hair in a ponytail.  I can't remember when this obsession started, either, but I'm pretty sure it was several months ago.  He loves to play with my ponytail.  He looks for it when my hair is down.  He gets excited when he sees me putting in a hair tie.

The reason I'm sharing these quips, other than their obvious adorableness, is this:

If I'm in "glasses and ponytail" mode, it's probably because my hair is on day 2 or 3 and my eyes were too tired for contacts, which needless to say, usually means I'm not "feeling my look" as much as I could be.  But, in Jacob's tiny, sweet opinion, these are my best days!  He loves glasses days, and he loves ponytail days, and when they happen on the same day, he can't get enough of his mama (even more than usual).  On these days, when I'm potentially down on myself for not taking time to fix my hair or put on eye makeup, he's looking at me with so much joy and excitement.  

Please don't read into any of the self-image/vanity/whatever stuff that may be associated with this post.  My intention is not to fish for compliments or make you concerned about my own self-image.  I'm simply sharing this little nugget of a lesson I'm learning in motherhood that's probably bigger than I realize (or have time to write about, at the moment).  It just makes my heart happy, and I thought it might do you good to hear it, too.  To me, it is such a picture of the love God has for us, despite our "dirty hair" and "unconcealed faces," if you will.  ☺

I had intended to keep this all to myself and just post a picture of Jacob's outfit on Instagram, because I thought he was looking especially cute today, but instead, I'm writing this post and sharing a picture of us both.  ♥

And some of him, of course...

Enjoy the weekend, friends!

Out of time to come up with a witty salutation,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

those precious red baby Chucks

my trusty Norwex optic cloth (ha)

the super generous b-day gift from my in-laws - a Cricut!  (this is what my margin time has been devoted to, lately)

he is real...but so is God

Hello dear friends and readers,

I recently had a sort of epiphany, and if you don't mind, I'm going to try to hash it out "on paper" in hopes that you might be able to relate, provide some insight, or just need something to read this evening.

I'd like to start by saying I consider myself a fairly positive person...and "fairly" may not be a strong enough word.  I strive to find the good in all situations and people, find joy in the smallest things (figuratively and literally), and been called "terminally cheerful."  Needless to say, I'm a "glass half full" kind of girl to the core...(this may not come as a surprise to those of you who know me well...or know me at all).  ☺

All that said, there have been times in my life (some more recently than others) that I have found it difficult to maintain my positivity, find my joy, and/or see the good in a given situation.

Examples include:

• A moment of disagreement causes me to doubt an entire friendship.
• Missing out on an evening activity causes me to resent my work schedule.
• A single matter in need of compromise/middle ground rather than being in total agreement in all matters causes me to question the relationship as a whole.
• A "closed door" of opportunity causes me to throw in the towel and not even look for the "open window."

These seeds of doubt/confusion grow into small ferns...bushes...even trees and cast their shadow on all of the good things in which I'm so accustomed to easily finding joy.  (I feel like this sounds like some sort of depression medication commercial...it's not.)  My first instinct is to mask these feelings and deal with them myself.  Past experience (and common sense), however, has proven this to be a relatively futile means of coping.

What hit me today is that these negative feelings/emotions/thoughts that throw off my positive groove are not coincidence - this negativity has to be coming from somewhere.  I'd be crazy to not be joyful about the job(s) I've been blessed with...or about the fact I have a job, period.  I'd be out of my mind to think a loved one or friend loves me less because of one little point of conflict.  I'd just be wrong to think God would deny me one opportunity without presenting another.  Right?  Right.

I came to the conclusion that feelings of doubt, confusion, and insecurity are coming from Satan.  I don't really know why it took me so long to realize/articulate/embrace/understand this truth.  I know I should be in the practice of being on the lookout for evil in my life, but I'm not, really.  I attribute this lack of practice to my optimistic demeanor (see above).

As I thought about it all more, I realized how much sense it makes that the things that seem to not make sense in my life (i.e. the doubt, negativity, etc.) are coming from someone who does not have my best interests at heart.  Satan is ever-present in this world, and we must, must, must be constantly on the lookout for him and the lies he spreads.  "...He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies." -John 8:44

So, what should my(our) plan of action be when (I almost said "if and when," but there isn't really an "if" in this matter) this negativity shows up in my(our) thoughts and mind?

Pray.  Pray, pray, pray.  "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." - James 4:7

Like I said - my first instinct has always been to "deal with it" on my own.  But how can I possibly expect to combat Satan on my own?!  Ha!  Silly me.  Therefore, here I am...♫"standin' in the need of prayer..."♪ (Sorry...I couldn't resist.)  Seriously, though - I can't do it alone.  We can't do it alone.  So, if you're a praying person, I'm asking for your help.  Please pray that I am able to recognize and resist Satan's lies and retain my ability and desire to find good, joy, understanding, and security in all God has and will continue to bless me with.

I'd also like to encourage you to pray this for yourself...and for your loved ones.  Don't let Satan get the best of you.  "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." Ephesians 6:11

Thank you, in advance.  ☺

I hope you have a really lovely week!

Prayerfully,

Kensy

P.S. I'm sure there are many more passages of Scripture I could've referenced...feel free to chime in if you have any to add...or any thoughts...or anything, period! 

Favorites of the day:

leftover Papa John's pizza

50+ degree weather in January

the movie "Frozen" (Seriously, if you haven't seen it, you need to!)

"Young" Adult

Happy fall, dear friends! Hope this finds you well, as usual.

Thank you to those of you who called to sing “Happy Birthday,” wrote on my Facebook wall, sent a text or card, and/or helped me celebrate last week! I spent my birthday weekend with some of my very, very favorite people, and felt so blessed and loved to receive so many well-wishes, thoughtful gifts, and kind words on my special day!

Amidst the (embarrassing amount of) cat cards I received in the mail last week was a letter from the YMCA. After thanking me for my membership, it stated that according to their records, I am “no longer eligible for a Young Adult membership” (people ages 19-25), and therefore, my “membership will be converted to an Adult membership” ($10/month more than I was paying as a “Young Adult”).

Was it wrong for me to be slightly offended/disappointed/saddened that they didn’t at least wish me a happy birthday in this letter?! I know it wouldn’t change the fact that I’ll be paying more for my membership, but couldn’t they at least have softened the blow by saying, “Hey – we noticed you turned a year older…happy birthday! By the way, this means you’re an adult, now, so we’re increasing your monthly fee.”

I don’t know if they think adults use (or need to use) the gym more than young adults, or if they simply assume individuals magically make more money once they turn 26 and apparently enter adulthood. Which brings me to the question: When does adulthood begin?

Is it when you can vote?

When you can rent a car without the unnecessary amount of extra fees?

When you get married? Have children?

When you reach your ultimate career goal(s)?

When you can eat certain foods without gagging?

When you can no longer be claimed as a dependent on anyone’s tax returns?

When you can change your own flat tire?

When you no longer find “childish” things funny or appealing?


As of this month, I’m officially on my own, as far as health/car/life insurance goes…except for my phone bill – I’m still on our “family plan.” At least the cell phone companies understand – family is family, no matter how old you are…good to know some things never change.

Back to the topic at hand, though: What does “young adult” even mean? I mean, I know it’s the stage of life after being a teenager…but why does the “adult” phase come so quickly after the “young adult” one? I think a “young” adult should stay “young” as long as a child stays a child…let’s say 12-ish years. So, by that calculation, adulthood shouldn’t set in till age 30, right? Who knows…

Please know I’m mostly being facetious about most of this. In all seriousness, though, it feels kind-of weird to be considered a “real” adult…to be completely self-sufficient and to only really have to worry about myself when making decisions and/or life changes. (Charlie’s pretty good about going with the flow.)

What I know for sure is this:
I am loving this season of life and am trying my best to not take any part of it for granted. I love being able to stay out later than planned (after not planning to go out, in the first place), being able to keep such an abnormal work schedule and continue doing what I feel called to do, and being able to be available to help/encourage/spend time with others at any time of day or night. I love not planning meals, being the only one on my budget, and sleeping with more covers than the average person. I love days with no obligations and endless possibilities, nights spent with my closest girlfriends (eating food-that-shall-remain-nameless, painting our nails, and watching chick flicks), and the hopeful anticipation I have for meeting my future husband. Most importantly, I love being able to continuously realize and increasingly understand how fully and completely I am loved by the Lord – He never ceases to remind me that He is all I need – everything else is just frosting. ☺

To quote a dear friend (and Emily Dickinson), I am “dwelling in the possibility” of whatever adulthood will bring, but in the meantime, I’m living in the beautiful reality of what it has already brought.

♥,

Kensy

Favorites of the day:

free birthday items

pending trip to the apple orchard
dark chocolate M&M's and popcorn (fresh from the microwave, of course, so the M&M's get melty)

Follow-up...and potatoes : )

Hey!

So, that last post got quite a variety of responses (and even more people read it within the first day than my "Not Single Anymore" post).  Again, I appreciate your continued interest in what I have to say, your support, and your input.  I just have a couple things to add to my previous thoughts:

• I am not perfect.  I hope I never come across as seeming to think I am, because I am not.  Though I'm not proud of it,  there are plenty of sins I commit each and every day.  I'm not going to take time to list them here, but just ask if you'd like specifics.  Thankfully, Jesus took care of covering all these, and more...in addition to everyone else's sins, when He died on the cross.
• That post was not meant to target anyone specifically, nor was the timing intentional (on my part, at least).  Like I said, I'd been working on putting those thoughts/beliefs into writing for quite awhile and just felt very convicted to publish them the other day.  I did not write it in order to avoid face-to-face conversations.  I do appreciate the conversations that have/will come of it, though! 
• I should probably have placed heavier consideration on how some may have felt after reading what I had to say, and I would like to apologize for any hurt feelings I may have caused.  That result was so very far from my intent in sharing my thoughts.

In other news, I made this recipe from Pinterest the other night.  They turned out just as I'd hoped!  Click for recipe.

I call them Smashed Baked Potatoes.

I'll leave it at that, for now.  Have a great rest of the week!


♥,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

the fact that I can wear open-toed shoes today!!

God's grace

spring break (next week!)

the power of prayer

 

Martin Luther.

Hi there!


So, in honor of Reformation Day, the sermon at church on Sunday was all about the life, teachings, and music of Martin Luther.  It took a sermon like that to remind me just how monumental Luther's actions were.  I feel like we should be reminded of what he did more than once a year, because it was kind-of a big deal.  : )


Can you imagine sticking up for your beliefs in a way that so drastically and completely changes the course and vehicle for the beliefs of others for generations upon generations to come?!  (I know there are plenty of others who have done so over the course of history, but I'm going to stick to Luther, for now.)  I wonder how fully he understood/realized the implications of his actions at the time.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with Luther's "actions," here's an explanation in a nutshell: He believed salvation cannot be bought with money or earned through good deeds, but rather, it is freely given by the grace of God.  This was a new concept in his time, and it went against the Roman Catholic Church's teachings.  Luther stood firm in his beliefs, though, and went public with them, resulting in his excommunication.  Subsequently, he went into hiding and too this time to translate the Bible from Latin to German, making it much more accessible for the people.  Basically, he initiated the Protestant Reformation.  Wohoo!


This all led me to another thought: Why do we have so many denominations within the Protestant church?  I know, of course, there is plenty of explanation to be found in history, research, and others' commentary - some of which I have heard/read - but I'm looking to dig deeper.  Are these divisions something Satan caused, or were they prescribed by God?  Were they meant to cause conflict and bitterness among believers, or were they created to allow for a variety of traditions, music, etc. for believers to choose from and ultimately find their niche?  Maybe there is commentary on this, too, that I should seek out.  For now, though, I'm just speculating "out loud."


I don't believe in a hierarchy of denominations, mostly because I don't know the answers to the questions above.  All I know is this: We are all sinners and are saved by the grace of God through the death of His Son on the cross.  The choice of whether or not to accept this grace is ours to make.  Upon accepting this gift of eternal life, our life on Earth should be a reflection of God's love and mercy.


I'll leave it at that, for now.  I hope none of this offended anyone - it certainly was not meant to.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on any and all of this, as usual.  At the very least, I hope it made you think a bit...and maybe be thankful for Martin Luther.  : )


On a lighter note, here's a student story for you: 
After taking pictures in our Halloween costumes, one of my students said, "There's two kinds of cheeses: the kind you say when you smile for a picture and the kinds you eat.  I like the kind you eat best.  cheddar jack is my favorite, and then just plain cheddar.  What's your favorite?"  This was the kiddo, by the way, who dressed up as Beaker from the Muppets.  Best. costume. ever.  Here's a link to his picture on Boo at the Zoo's contest site (I think you might have to copy and paste it): https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/383428_10150335277191160_57153231159_8401525_1582657471_n.jpg 
AND here's a link to the video he sang/acted out for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A


Take care,
Kensy


P.S. FYI - voting for the costume contest ends tomorrow (Friday).

Favorites of the day:

freshly-washed flannel sheets, towels, and PJ's

sunshine

best friend visits : )

Did you know you were going that fast?

Yes, I did know I was going that fast.  I just didn't realize the speed limit had changed - woops.  A few tears and a $73 ticket later, I drove off thankful that the kind state trooper waived the "construction zone" fee.


This was my first actual ticket - I'd been pulled over twice before, but only received warnings.  Those times, I think I was intentionally going 5 (or so) over, but this time was completely accidental, which is why it was so frustrating/disappointing.  Through this experience, however, I had a little self-revelation: Situations similar to this are particularly hard for me to deal with and get over, because I am unable to change or reconcile the course of events (I don't count paying the ticket as making it better).  Similar situations might include:
-instances in which other people make choices you've advised them against
-"insert foot in mouth" conversations
-those times when you're part of a project that isn't getting done and you're being included in the reprimanding for it not being completed, even though it's out of your control
-situations in which someone is mad at or upset with you for reasons unknown to you, and they won't talk it out


The difference between getting a ticket and the aforementioned situations is that most, if not all, of the "similar situations" can eventually be rectified, whereas the ticket stays on your record for a few years (even if it was an accident)...and there's nothing you can do about it (aside from taking STOP class, I guess).   


The next revelation I had was this: We don't ever have to feel like we fail in life (via sin), because Jesus died for us - He paid our ticket and wiped our record clean!  I know that to some of you this may seem like a cliché Christianese analogy, but it's truly what's on my heart.  Even though I was feeling disappointed in myself and frustrated that I was out some money, my mind and heart were calmed in the realization that this is a very minor "bump," and virtually the only time in life I would have reason to feel the way I did.


On that same note, while listening to a devotional CD in the car, I heard Beth Moore make the following point:  When we say "I love you!" to God, we may be implying that we don't fully believe He loves us back - it may not feel like He does sometimes.  To avoid falling into this frame of  mind, we should say to Him instead, "I love you, too!"  He initiated the love, after all, so it makes sense that this should be our response.


THANK YOU for the positive feedback some of you have given!  I really appreciate it.  : )  I'll take "anonymous" up on the suggestion in a later post.  In the meantime, I will tell you how to make the music notes:
Alt. + 13 = ♪
Alt. + 14 = ♫ 


In doing that, I just discovered other symbols you can make with the Alt. = # combinations!  Here are some more:
Alt. + 1 = ☺
Alt. + 2 = ☻
Alt. + 3 = ♥
Alt. + 4 = ♦
Alt. + 5 = ♣
Alt. + 6 = ♠
Alt. + 7 = •
Alt. + 8 = ◘
Alt. + 9 = ○
Alt. + 10 = ◙
Alt. + 11 = ♂
Alt. + 12 = ♀
Alt. + 15 = ☼
Alt. + 16 = ►
Alt. + 17 = ◄
Alt. + 18 = ↕
Alt. + 19 = ‼


Who knew?!  Pretty cool, in my opinion.


Ok - that's all for now.  Hope you all have a great rest of the week!


Thanks,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

attending and playing on a fun final jazz/Image concert at LCS (hooray for "Brass Machine"!!)

afternoon nap with Charlie

worship time at Bible study

good news lately for so many friends, but especially my BFFAE!