Our Birth Story #2

I realize a lot of you probably don't care about all these details, but I also know enough of you do that it would be easiest to share them this way, rather than on an individual basis.  As I've said, too, this is a way for me to preserve our family's memories, so even if no one reads this particular post, it's at least been documented for posterity's sake.  So, all that said, here is Lydia's birth story:

At my ~39 week appt., I was dilated 3 cm and 50% effaced, which was no progress since my last week's appt.  Baby and I were both fine, and I still felt good, but we were reaching the end and time for her to be on the outside.  So, for several reasons, I decided to be induced, and based on everyone's schedules and a few logistics, we ended up scheduling the induction for the very next morning.

(This isn't necessarily actual-birth-related, but I want to remember the mixed feelings I had about scheduling this birth.  First of all, I felt like a little bit of a failure after having done everything in the book to make things happen naturally, only to find out my body hadn't made any progress.  Secondly, I love surprises, so I think part of my disappointment stemmed from the fact that we knew, generally, when she would arrive.  I was also feeling a little guilty that we'd had several (generously helpful) people on "standby" which meant putting their lives on hold, a bit, and we didn't end up needing to call on them.  That said, I was glad to have the time to truly plan and get things squared away (though we'd been doing that for weeks) before leaving for the hospital.  It was also valuable to be able to prepare Jacob and for my parents to have plenty of lead time to come stay with him.  Knowing it was our last night as a family of three made me a little emotional, but it was a relief to know she'd be here and we'd be able to move onto the next season.)

We arrived at the hospital, as instructed, at 6:00 a.m. - right when the shift was changing.  After checking in and being shown to our room, the nurses got me all charted, situated, and hooked up to start the lowest possible dosage of Pitocin around 7:20 a.m.  Shortly thereafter, we asked if I could take a COVID-19 test, so I could take my mask off, and the nurses said, "Of course!"  The (rapid) test was a self-administered 15-second swab of each nostril - "far enough up to the point that you feel like you're going to sneeze."  I swabbed and sneezed and sat back to wait for things to start moving.  My doctor arrived, as planned, to break my water at 8:30 a.m.

As the day progressed, and my body didn't, the Pitocin dosage was increased.  Lunchtime came and went, and the contractions became stronger and stronger.  At some point, I threw up all the clear liquid "food" I'd had throughout the morning - something that had happened when I was in labor the previous time.  We tried several different labor positions/techniques, so when the nurse told me around 2:00 p.m. that I was only dilated to 6 cm at the rate of 1 cm per hour, I was disappointed and so conflicted.  I was on Pitocin for my last delivery, so I knew what I was in for as far as pain goes, and at that point, I didn't know whether or not I could mentally or physically make it another four hours.  With that in mind, I made the decision to get an epidural (something I didn't do the last time).  The hour it took for the orders to be made, anesthesiologist to arrive, explanations to be given, and epidural to finally be administered was excruciating - physically and mentally.  For whatever reason, the contractions really ramped up in severity during that time, and it felt like the relief was never going to come.

It did, though, and I felt like a different person (and it showed, according to my husband).  Shortly thereafter, my blood pressure dropped, which meant the baby's heartrate did, too.  The nurses were having a hard time keeping track of her with the external monitor, so they made a plan to put in an internal one at the same time they put in a catheter (standard procedure after an epidural).  As the nurse prepared me for this, however, she discovered I was 10 cm dilated and 100% effaced.  They were all shocked, because just an hour earlier I was at 6 cm and maybe 75%.  So, they scratched the monitor/catheter plan, called the doctor, and prepared for delivery.  Once the doctor got there, I pushed three times and was done!  Bryant barely had time to get gloves on to help with the delivery.

And then she was here!  We waited in our room for quite a while (the nurses were busy that night) before being transferred to a room (with a "view" in the form of mountain view window clings of sorts to block the actual view of rooftops/HVAC systems).  We spent the night and most of the next day, and after passing all the usual check-ups and tests, we were discharged the next evening!  We absolutely could have stayed at the hospital longer, but there was really no reason to, as far as we were concerned.  My recovery was and has been easy and quick (for which I am very thankful), and Lydia has been doing all the right newborn things.

Hospital billboard on our way there - it says, "Ready for you."
Thought it was funny/appropriate/ironic. ☺

Here we go!

He got to catch another baby!

♥

I'd totally forgotten they made hospital hats with bows!

Aunt Jami made all our matchy-matchy-red-and-white-polka-dot dreams come true!

Thanks for reading!  Thank you, also, for those of you who supported, prayed, and encouraged us through the journey.  Happy to talk through any of this in more detail (yes, there are actually more details - haha) with anyone who'd like to do so. 

Sleeping as much as I can,

Kensy

Favorites of the day:

Ethiopian food

dark chocolate

Lydia's bow collection.
I'm not even going to try to justify it...but if you know me well, you know this is what dreams are made of.  ♥

Ready or not

I'm going to try my best not to compare my children - this is something I've thought a lot about, and though I know I won't perfectly accomplish this goal (esp. in my head), it's something I'm going to strive for, still.  

That said, it's been interesting to me to generally compare pregnancies, so that's what this is about.  At this time during my pregnancy with Jacob, he was already born!  (If you don't remember his birth story, you can read about it here.)  So, baby sister has already waited longer to come out than her big brother, and I expect the rest of her birth story to be very different, as well.  We'll see!

Then and now.

Don't tell her, but thanks to COVID-19 (and my husband, parents, friends, etc.) I've crossed everything off the pre-baby to-do list I made many months ago!  Of course, that means I immediately made new lists and continue to take advantage of the extra time I've been given (hence this blog post), but it sure does feel good to feel so settled/prepared.

We even crossed off one of our initial quarantine goals: making homemade Girl Scout cookies! 
They photographed ok, but certainly didn't turn out as expected - haha. 
Still very tasty, though, which is really all that matters!

People often ask if we're "ready," and though I don't know that I'll ever fully be ready (much like I've felt with marriage, first-time-parenthood, etc.), I do feel increasingly excited and anxious for her to arrive.  Though we've been through it before, the newborn phase seems daunting.  I know how fast it goes, but I also know how long it feels and how all-consuming it is, so I think that's why I don't know that I can say I'm "ready" for it.  Having so much squared away around the house, though, makes this easier - it helps to know just how much time and mental space I'll be able to devote to her (and Jacob) during the transition.  The house is cleaned, lawn mowed, garden watered, freezer stocked a bit, fall decorations up, laundry done (though this is never reallllly done), car seat installed, etc., etc.!  Plus, those new to-do lists are short and fairly non-essential.

The world still seems so crazy and out of control.  The unknowns (COVID-related do's and don't's, politics, job stuff, any potential travel/gathering plans) seem to outweigh the "knowns."  Those "known" things (God's love/grace/control, the imminent arrival of a sweet baby girl, the pure joy of a toddler), however, sure make the unknown ones less scary and more bearable.  So, for now, we're just truly enjoying some quality time together - our last few days as a family of three.

We'll be as close to "ready" as we can be whenever this little girl wants to join us on the outside.  In the meantime, we're making memories, making the most of our time, and making sure to be thankful for the many blessings and silver linings this life continues to offer.

Readily,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

how excited J was to put up fall decorations

perfect pool days

good customer service

#2

It's true: we're expecting Baby #2!

(Honestly didn't plan to start that way - it just came out...rhyming and all.  So, I'm gonna leave it.)

In case you missed it, we're expecting a baby girl near the beginning of September.  ☺  It's still hard for me to believe...although, since we've told Jacob - the person I talk to most, lately - it's become more real.  This pregnancy has been...different...strange?...a little difficult...emotional...weird...  Please don't misunderstand me - it is a huge blessing, something we'd hoped and prayed for, and I'm excited about it.  That said, it has come with some unexpected feelings, for me.  I still haven't figured out how to put it all into words, but here are a few I came up with:

The first trimester (and a little beyond) was physically debilitating, at times.  In all humility, I'm one who has a fairly high pain tolerance, usually works through sickness, and doesn't draw attention to my own discomfort.  The nausea that accompanied pregnancy this time around, however, truly had me laid up in bed on more than one occasion.  Thankfully, it was less "morning sickness" and more "evening sickness," so my amazing husband could take over with Jacob once he got home most days.  I basically survived on cereal and string cheese, drank anything but water, and came out of it craving fruits and veggies.  (PSA: Smoothie King has a prenatal vitamin blend as an add-in option!)

Though you'd think the constant nausea and food aversions would've reminded me I was growing a human, it still wasn't at the forefront of my mind.  What was more consuming were thoughts about sharing our news with those struggling/unable to have children of their own.  As I've mentioned before, my personality type comes with a lot of empathy, so in all honesty, there were times feelings of grief and sadness for others outweighed my own feelings of joy in my heart.  The anticipation of conversations with close friends and loved ones in that situation was also fairly consuming.

Once the second trimester hit, I was feeling much better and had gotten the hard conversations out of the way.  Again, you'd think this would allow more head space for pregnancy to be a greater focal point in my day-to-day, but it still wasn't, really.  For one thing, not very many people knew (simply because we decided to tell people slowly/as we saw them), so it wasn't something anyone was really asking about on the regular.  Also, toddler-hood is so very consuming.  I was doing well to take care of/entertain/feed our two-and-a-half-yr.-old, as well as myself and my husband (though I think he was doing a better job of taking care of us all than I was), all while still trying to ward off "pregnancy brain" as I continued to organize/manage all the other things in which I'm involved.  Of course, I had lists of lists of things I wanted to accomplish pre-baby (projects, purging, baby-gear-inventory, etc.), but as soon as we'd discussed those, written them down, and started working on them, they were out of my head...and with them went some of the constant reminder of having another child on the way.

And then, COVID-19 hit.  Something I haven't mentioned about this strange time in my previous posts about it is this:
I have been grieving (in small, but real, ways) the end of my time with "just Jacob" since before I was even pregnant, I think.  He's such a great kid, and as I've said before, I truly enjoy spending my days with him...despite the not-so-desirable moments.  We get along really well, due in part, I'm sure, to the fact that we're a lot alike.  We are easily excitable, thrive on routine, appreciate tidiness, have similar senses of humor, and enjoy being with/talking to our friends.  The thought of our "routine" changing and trying to find where another human fits into our family dynamic is a little overwhelming to me, at times.  BUT what far outweighs that is the excitement I have about watching another child develop and getting to witness Jacob become a big brother.  He has taken such a liking to babies (long before he found out we'd be getting one of our very own), and it is precious to hear him talk about and interact with them.  He is also a true helper, and I though I will need to try hard not to take advantage of this trait, I know he will enjoy having some new "jobs."  While I am certain the transition will have its ups and downs and am prepared to have lots of grace for everyone involved, I pray I have the capacity to continue to nurture and give Jacob what he needs, and hope that his sweet, thoughtful, kind demeanor does not change due to less/split/different attention paid to him.

What I really came here to say on the COVID-19 subject is that this has given Jacob and I such a sweet opportunity for lots of quality time together.  Of course, we had that in the "before times," but we kept fairly busy with outings, playdates, etc.  This time, however, has allowed me to hone some "mom traits" I hadn't felt as able to focus on pre-pandemic.  I strive to sit down and actually play with him on a more regular basis.  I allow him even more room to help in his own ways (rather than guiding him toward the most efficient way).  We've started doing more intentional/distinct "school" activities.  I've dug into my previously-untouched Pinterest boards for interesting new projects and activities.  I'm not saying all this to brag or be nominated for any mom awards.  Rather, I'm sharing to say that this time has allowed me to make some strides in becoming the mom I aspire to be.

Another big blessing of this situation: the quantity of time we have to work on that pre-baby list.  I have no doubt we would've gotten most, if not all, of it crossed off in time, even had everything else in life not been cancelled.  We have made some great headway, though, and it's really nice to be able to do so at a reasonable pace while still taking advantage of quality time together.

Not sure whether all that makes sense and/or is relatable for any of you with multiple children and/or more on the way.  Again - please know I see this pregnancy for the miracle that it is and do have a lot of joy about it.  I believe we can feel joy simultaneously with other emotions, though, and that's what's been happening here for the last several months.  Don't worry about me - I'm really ok, and I know it will all be ok.  This is just a glimpse into this mama's heart of hearts as she takes a (blessed) moment to actually explore and unpack what's been going on in there.  ☺

Thanks, as always, for reading!

Pregnantly,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

surprise porch drop-off packages and fun mail (this has been one of my favorite parts of all this pandemic stuff)
technology (I know people have survived pandemics without it, but I don't know that I could...)

A family picnic (Shake Shack - yum!) followed by a walk on a beautiful evening.  This was the first time in over a month we had all gone somewhere and gotten out of the car, and it felt like such a treat.

Summer babies bring spring showers

Thanks for reading past the cheesy title of this post.  ☺  My initial thought was to write it chronologically ("Spring showers bring summer babies"), but we all know that's not actually how it works.  Thanks, pregnancy brain.  

Anyway, we have been so blessed by sooo many people over the past few months.  This baby boy is already very loved and well-cared for - what a lucky guy to have so many great people in his life!

Because words can't fully express how wonderful these celebrations have been, or how grateful we are, I thought I'd share some pictures of some of the kindnesses shown to us and festivities celebrating our growing family.

These are not chronological, for the record.  Rather, they're in order of my life's path, if you will.  It's such a warm/awesome/encouraging feeling to have people from all stages/places/circles of life continue to come around us and support us in so many ways.

Two wonderful friends from high school threw a shower for us in Topeka!
Such yummy food!

So many cute decorations, thanks to this talented, creative lady!

A special gift from the neighbors who where there for my parents when both my brother and I were born.
They gave Q a big baby bottle bank when he was born, so this was a nostalgic gift.

My brother and sis-in-law know my hubby all too well!  ☺

A most special gift from my jr. high/high school band director's wife.
(Yes, this one evoked a couple tears.)

Of course, my mom found a cat book!

Such a special gift from my BFF - a beautiful handwritten wall-hanging for the nursery.
(It's a Bible verse!  Joshua 1:9)

2/5 of the family I baby-sat for for several years from jr. high - college.  That super-grown-up young lady in the middle was the last true newborn who had been in my care regularly!  So...

...I'm thankful this pretty lady helped provide a newborn refresher course a few months ago! ☺
Love this sweet new mama!

☺

Lovely hostesses!

Our Lincoln(area) family threw us a shower, as well!

I couldn't get over the bow-tie forks.  So cute, right?!

The amazing baker/decorator of the delicious cookies - and a wonderful friend! ☺

"The three best friends..."

This guest book became an adorable wall-hanging!

So fun!

This hand-made decoration got to come home with us to find a spot in the nursery, as well!

Such a sweet, cozy quilt from one of my very-talented aunts!

We were overwhelmed by the generosity shown to us and our son!
(The guests brought books instead of cards!)

Our BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) group threw us and a couple engaged to be married a joint shower one night after study.  There were ice cream sundaes, adorable cakes, sweet words of encouragement and prayer, and an outpouring of unexpected gifts.  They sure know how to make a couple feel special!

When I arrived to teach lessons for the last time at the community center where I've volunteered for the past couple of years, there was a sign directing me to the eating area, and this is what was waiting for me!
What a sweet (in every sense of the word) surprise!

One of my students got in on the celebration!

Other students had kind notes for me.

A dinner invitation from our neighbors turned out to be a surprise baby shower with a couple other couples!
We felt so celebrated and supported and are very thankful to live by such wonderful, thoughtful people.
This quilt, made by one of the ladies' mothers, was one of several generous gifts.

Our church family blessed us with an absolutely adorable (and fun!) shower.
Several ladies came together to make it a really enjoyable morning with lots of delicious (and cute) treats!

This was melted chocolate...as were the messes in 7 other diapers.
The goal was to try to guess what candy bar each was!

Little baby leg warmers!

A most perfect outfit!

Homemade hot fudge favors!
(For the record, we'd received some of this for Christmas, as well, and it was definitely something I'd partaken of during pregnancy.  Needless to say, I was very excited to receive a refill! ☺)

♥

Even though we're not right next door, anymore, our former neighbors continue to bless and support us.
What a sweet surprise this hand-knit afghan was!

I'm truly at a loss for words.  We're just so thankful!

Everything has continued to go smoothly with this pregnancy.  We're down to weekly check-ups, now - hard to believe it's gone so fast!  Thank you for all your love and support, whether it be cards, gifts, words of encouragement, helpful hints and advice, and/or prayers!  It takes a village, and we're so glad you're part of ours.  ☺

As usual, thanks for reading.  We'll see if I get any more posts in before this baby makes his entrance! ☺

Appreciatively,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

the nursery!  (pics to come soon, hopefully)

watermelon

my husband