Reentry

I feel I would be remiss if I didn't somehow mark this season of life in light of the pandemic, not only for posterity's sake, but also for my own reflection and mental processing.  So, here goes.  :)

We have known people who have tested positive for, struggled with, and/or passed from COVID-19, and we've (only just recently) experienced it ourselves.  There has been and is so much else going on in the world, as well, and like many of you, I'm sure, my head has been in a constant state of "spin," and it seems as though my heart cannot handle one more tragedy/conflict/moral dilemma.  While it seems like there's so much we could process together and talk about, conversations in the recent past have seemed to go generally the same way:  

How are you doing?

Oh, you know, hanging in there.  How about you?

Yeah.  Same - just in survival mode.  Anything new going on?

Not really.  You?

Nope.

It has been so hard to wrap our minds around what in the actual world is going on, so hard to figure out how to be in all of this, so hard to know what to do or think, and as a result, we've stayed on the surface of what could be deepening conversations and relationships.  We've seemingly given up some hope and drive and zest.  We've settled for this perpetual "new normal," and despite "making the most of it," we're not necessarily thriving.  Sure, initially, we were innovative and creative and almost excited about finding new ways to fill our time, but as that time went on, we became increasingly wearied by that time that kept and kept and kept going on.  That's seemed to be the case for me, at least.

Don't hear me saying we haven't all been doing the best we can.  And please don't hear me saying (to any of you or to myself) that we should've done more, done better, or done different.  I'm just trying to put words to where we're coming from as we look to where we're going.

I recently read an article titled, in part, "mourning the mom I used to be," and man - so much of it hit home.  As I read it, I also realized not only have I been mourning the mom I used to be, but also the wife, friend, aunt, leader, teacher, and person I used to be.  The pandemic has robbed us of so much, not the least of which is access to experiences, situations, resources, and people that help us to be the best versions of ourselves.  Sure, we figured out to "make do," but it just hasn't been the same.  

See - already, the tone of this post of mine is uncharacteristically pessimistic and dark, right?!  This leads me to the fact that the pandemic has also given us a lot.  One of these "gifts" is a harsh reality check that, at least for me, has lead to some new perspectives.  Being so isolated and unoccupied magnified our home lives and our thought lives.  It's given us time to overhaul our spaces, our marriages, our parenting, and the way we spend our time.  Near the beginning of this pandemic life, I wondered what we'd look like on the other side of it all.  I wondered if we'd maintain the new priorities we'd put into place.  Wondered if we'd still be content to stay home all day for days in a row; if we'd leave space for family time amongst other obligations; if we'd keep our closets organized and our clutter minimal (😉).  And here we are (I think/hope)!  It seems that I won't have to wonder about that time, anymore.  It seems we're there.  (Or "here?"  Whatever makes the most sense.  Notice I didn't say this time has given me extra, new, or even renewed brain cells...)

I took both kids to in-person story time at the library last week, and it was a surprisingly surreal experience.  Pre-COVID, library story time was a regular part of Jacob and I's routine.  We started going as soon as he dropped his morning nap (around 15 months, I think), and we attended a couple times a week.  He loved the librarians, learned/practiced social skills, and met some of his (and my) best friends there.

When the pandemic hit, we obviously stopped going to story time...and everywhere else.  My little social butterfly who, for many reasons, thrived on our daily outings, was caged, if you will.  You may remember how early-COVID days went around here, as documented in this video.

Late last year, thanks to a friend's generous offer to stay with Lydia during her morning nap, I was able to take Jacob back to a couple story times - one was outside and one was very sparsely attended and somewhat disjointed, and both were are not-our-usual library.  Because our previous story time experiences were half his lifetime ago, Jacob only remembered these COVID ones, as far as I could tell.  So, you can imagine his (and my) delight when we attended last week and there were several families in attendance, he remembered the librarians, and activities included both bubbles and the parachute.  Plus, we got to share it all with Lydia for the first time.

That's partially where the surreal-ness came in, for me.  I hadn't gotten to be "this mom" with her, yet.  I haven't gotten to show her the world...or the world her, for that matter.  How relieving it was to see her so comfortable and engaged in this almost-normal, pre-COVID environment.  She caught on quickly, was independently involved, and acted like she'd been doing it all her whole life.

She took it upon herself to pick up all the unattended carpet squares after putting away her own.

Do you see that boy's face?!  ♥

After story time, we went to a park to play and have a picnic (giving myself a gold star for this foresight and preparedness - haha).  It was suuuuch a beautiful day, and the sunshine and warmth were doing wonders for everyone.  Some older-than-Jacob boys showed up shortly after we'd finished our lunch.  Not only did Jacob require minimal encouragement to approach them, but when he did, he introduced himself ("and this is my sister Lydia," he said of his own accord) and asked if they wanted to play a game of tag.  How relieving it was to see him so comfortable and engaged in this almost-normal, pre-COVID environment.  He was friendly, played fair, and made sure everyone watched out for his "little sister" (something he hasn't had opportunity to implement much and did all on his own).

Days like these (story time + park + picnic in the sunshine) assure me that all is not lost.  Kids really are resilient, and it's never too late to "get back out there" - for them or for yourself.  I'm still the person I was pre-pandemic, and I can still be the mom I was, too.  How relieving it was to see me so comfortable and engaged in this almost-normal, pre-COVID environment.  I made small talk, arrived on time and prepared (after being so out of practice), and truly enjoyed a large portion of the day with my sweet kiddos (don't take this the wrong way - of course I'm very grateful to be able to stay home with them, but if you can't relate, just trust me when I say it's not always enjoyable).  While it's ok to mourn the mom I hadn't been able to be, I can also be grateful to have gained so many new tools and experiences during our quarantine life the last couple of years (still crazy to put that time stamp on it all, right?!).

All that to say, the world is such a volatile place, these days.  Perhaps it always was, and we're just hyper-sensitive to it, since we haven't had much else to occupy our time and minds?  Who knows.  Regardless, it almost makes me want to just keep staying at home.  Keep living in our bubble of Pinterest activities, backyard playtime, and limited interaction with the outside world.  But only almost.  There is still beauty to be found and joy to be felt.  There are still connections to be made and relationships to be had.  There are still adventures to embark on and places to explore.  We will not live in fear.  Plus, I can't keep these two all to myself - their light is too bright and their joy too immense. ♥

The Lord has sustained us through this past season, and He will sustain us through the next...and the next...and the next.  I am so thankful for the hope, peace, wisdom, and provision He provides.  I am in constant awe of His grace and His kindness.  When the world is so dark and humanity seems hopeless, I cling to the fact that His love and forgiveness are for everyone, and I pray everyone has the opportunity to accept and profess that truth.  I am ready to keep helping make that happen.  

I am ready to regain some of what we've lost.  I am ready to move forward with new perspectives, new tools, and new expectations.  I'm ready to remember and appreciate who we were - who I was - and excited to discover who we'll become - who I'll become.  Are you?

Readily,

Kensy

Favorites of the day:

all the new words Lydia is trying out

meeting new people

the PAT (Parents As Teachers) program

(This may be another blog post for some day, but for now, I highly recommend this program for new parents/parents of young children.  We just (finally) started and I regret not doing so sooner, if nothing else than for the affirmation and encouragement I've already received from an expert in the field of young children/parenting.  How valuable to a stay-at-home mom, especially!  Really thankful for this resource.)

Our 2020 (so far)

2020 has been a lot of things for a lot of people.  There's been so much going on globally, nationally, locally...and the majority of what we hear about has been steeped in negativity.  My lack of comment on the world’s happenings is not out of ignorance or lack of compassion - I am just as saddened/frustrated/confused/scared as the next person.  Those feelings, however, are ones I'd rather not sit in, and I'm not one to stir the pot.  Instead, I'd like to share a couple (major) silver linings that have shown around the clouds of 2020 in our little corner of the world in an effort to spread some positivity and light.

First of all, and probably most obviously, we became a family of four!  Lydia Kaylynn was born September 9th - the day before her due date.  (If you're interested in her birth story, I've documented it here.)  Her first name is one we've liked for a long time, and her middle name is both her grandmothers' middle names combined.  What a precious gift she is!

(A generous and thoughtful group of friends gifted us a newborn/family photo session with a talented friend from church (@ladder_and_lens - if you're in the KC area, be sure to check her out - she'll be doing holiday mini-sessions soon!).)  

Many of you have asked how Jacob is adjusting, and I know even more of you are probably wondering.  He was very excited for us to come back from the hospital and barely took time to greet his dad and I before taking a peek at "baby sister."  It took less than 24 hours, however, for him to say things like, "I don't love it when she cries" and "When is she going to leave?"  He has come around, though, and we've all settled in more and more with each passing day.  He truly loves to help - fetch things, help with bath, feed her, etc., so that's been fun.  Any feelings of jealousy/neglect/annoyance/etc. have manifested themselves in some behavior issues, so that hasn't been fun.  He's been such an easy kiddo thus far, so these probably seem worse than they are, simply because he's been so good up until now.  He's also three, though, so these things are probably to be expected - new baby or not.  I've shed some tears over it all - both in frustration and exhaustion, but also a bit in mourning our "only child" and wondering if/when he'll go back to the way he was.  But then I realize that's expecting the impossible of him - life is different for all of us in a forever sort of way.  I've needed to tap into some extra grace for both him and myself as we navigate the new.  The year has been full of transition and change, and I think we are all craving some routine and normalcy - certainly in this house, at least.  Whether or not reestablishing some sort of routine will help with the adjustment period is yet to be seen, but either way, we'll figure it out.  

Perfect capture of the face we get when asking him to smile, these days. 
Of course he would choose the month he gains a sibling and we'd like to take allll the cute pictures to decide to try his hand at fake-smiling.

Moments like this make it all worth it, though.
(This was unpromted...he really does love her.)

Lydia has been such a good baby!  The first week or so was a bit rocky, as expected - hormones, all the changes, lack of sleep, etc. - but once we got our "newborn legs" under us, a bit, we started settling in more and more.  The most challenging thing, so far, as with our last baby, has been figuring out feeding.  She nurses like a champ, but for whatever reason, doesn't get enough milk from me, so we're supplementing some formula.  This is what we did with Jacob, as well - it just didn't take us as long to figure out what to do with Lydia.  It was still a hard thing for me, though, and I don't know if I can fully explain why except to say I was simply disappointed.  Disappointed it wasn't different this time (as I sort of expected being our second child).  Disappointed in my body and/or myself for not being able to figure out how to make it work better.  And once I realized and accepted it's out of my control, disappointed that it didn't work better.  I'm in a much better place now, though, and it's all going just fine.  A sweet perk of supplementing has been Jacob being able to help feed Lydia.  Early on, I think he was disappointed that I was the only one able to feed her, because due to books we'd read and things he'd observed, he assumed all babies ate from bottles and he'd be able to help.  So, when he first saw the bottle out, he said, "That will be easier!" meaning that would be easier for him to use to feed her.  He immediately asked to help, and of course, we obliged.  This was something I'd forgotten he would want to help with, so hadn't expected him to be so anxious to be included.  His enthusiasm and joy made all the other emotions/turmoil I'd been experiencing totally worth it.

♥

Secondly:

As many of you know, and others may have picked up on, Bryant (along with almost 50% of the company he worked for) was laid off due to COVID at the beginning of August (after being furloughed in July and asked to burn most of his vacation days in June).  This was something we had sort of anticipated at the beginning of "all this" in March, but as spring turned into summer, we thought there was less of a chance of it happening, so it came as quite a surprise.

You may be thinking, as we were, "What about insurance?  Aren't you expecting a baby?"  This was definitely one of the things we were most concerned about.  Because he worked one day at the beginning of August, our insurance plan through his employer would be good through the end of August - right before we were expected to deliver a baby in early September.  Bryant did an amazing job researching potential options for us, and as a result, he discovered that I, as a pregnant woman, qualified for Medicaid (so did Jacob).  That meant my appointments and Lydia's birth would be completely covered!  Here's the more amazing part, though: had he collected one more paycheck, we would've been over the income threshold and not qualified.  Thanks, God.

A little over a year ago, our church small group went through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University (FPU).  Bryant and I have always kept a budget, but this program helped us tighten it up and be more conscious of our financial planning.  Because of this, we really were able to experience peace during this time of unemployment.  I realize this isn't the case for everyone when they lose a job, and I absolutely do not take it for granted.  I share this, however, because it is yet another piece of evidence that God had it all under control all along.  Also, I'd encourage anyone and everyone to participate in FPU (or something similar) in whatever capacity you're able - it really pays off (pun not originally intended).

As I mentioned, Bryant's previous employer required employees to use up all but a couple days of their vacation in the month of June, due to COVID.  So, had he still been working in September, he would've only had a few days off at the beginning of our transition to a family of four.  Instead, he's been home for weeks - both before and after the birth.  What a true blessing it's been to have him here.  Not only has he been home as we navigate the newborn phase with a toddler, but he was also home at the end of my pregnancy (when I was struggling to get down and up off the floor to play with Jacob, couldn't really lift things, was going to the bathroom every five minutes, etc.).  I'm certain the help he provided, and therefore, the extra rest I was able to get, contributed positively to my general mental health and largely to my quick recovery after delivery.  

Since we couldn't really travel during this time, we spent our time at home, which meant lots of quality family time (as well as mother/son and father/son time).  I can't tell you how many lists we made, finished, and re-made, because we had plenty of time and headspace to complete lingering projects before we had a new baby.  Because we were able to get so much done beforehand, we've really been able to focus on family time and rest when we can since she's been here.  

I've been waiting to share all this till we were "out of the woods" and on the other side of it all.  Not because I doubted it would happen - just because I wanted to be able to wrap it all up in one neat and tidy blog post, if possible - haha.  I'm happy to say that after submitting almost 60 job applications, several interviews (via phone, Zoom, and in person), and a few offers, Bryant is starting a new job tomorrow!  It's a normal M-F 8-hour day shift, which is not always the case in his line of work and is really wonderful for our family.  The position itself is a great career move for him and something he's excited about.

While we are so, so thankful for this job, it will surely be yet another adjustment for everyone.  Jacob and I (and now, Lydia, whether she realizes it or not) have become very accustomed to having Daddy home on a daily basis.  We've developed some rhythms over the past few months that have been so enjoyable but will be hard to break.  Please do not hear any of this as a complaint on my part - again, we're so glad for this employment opportunity.  We'll just be sad to see this sweet, dreamy season end.

You see all these silver linings, right?  Bryant was unemployed for months, and while at the onset it was scary and stressful, looking back, it was truly a blessing in disguise.  How else would he have had over a month off after the birth of our new baby?  How else would we have been able to accomplish everything we did so quickly and stress-free?  When else would he have gotten to spend so much one-on-one time with Jacob (doing lots of things, but mostly playing on the awesome swing set he built...and when would he have had time to do that, too?!)?

I realize not all of you believe in God, so perhaps you just perceive me as simply being optimistic about all this.  Even the strongest pessimist, though, would surely have a hard time ignoring the silver linings in our 2020.  Perhaps you are a believer, but find yourself in the middle of a similar (or worse) circumstance and doubting God's plan.  For us, what seemed like the worst timing may have actually been the best, and I truly believe it was not an accident.  I'm confident the Lord orchestrated every detail in our specific circumstance, as He does all circumstances.  I see this as clear evidence of His faithfulness and provision, and I pray this evidence will point you toward Him and serve as a reminder of His goodness.

Thank you so much to those of you who have supported, encouraged, and prayed for us during this time.  Thank you, also, for all the gifts and meals many of you have provided as we welcomed Lydia to our family.  These things would’ve been greatly appreciated, no matter when we might have had a baby, but they blessed us even more during this time when our budget was tighter than normal.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: we have an amazing village who loves us so well - in all circumstances, but especially through tough ones.  To say we have a lot to be thankful for is an understatement.  

Amazedly,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

fall weather (mostly the perfect-70's-windows-open days, but the cozier ones, too)

This meal - made and plated by my super-dad husband who made the tomato soup from our garden-fresh tomatoes (and basil) while wearing a baby.

Being able to complete this project: processing all our garden-fresh butternut squash!
(It's amazing what one can accomplish with just a newborn around after becoming accustomed to a newborn AND a toddler.  Was thankful for some quality time with this sweet baby girl, as well as some time to get a few things done.)

A NEW coop!

You guys.

I've been so, so, so excited to share this with you!

As many of you know, we put our house on the market about a month and a half ago.  We loved our home (which was Bryant's bachelor pad for a couple years before we met) - it's so cozy and cute and a perfect starter home.  That said, though, we've always known we'd need more space if we were ever to expand our family, so decided to start looking for that "space."  (I know some of you are reading into that...this is not a pregnancy announcement.  Don't worry - it will be very clear if/when that announcement comes!)

Since about a month before we listed our home, we'd been working with an agent to find a new home, looking both online and in person.  We found a couple that were "maybe's," but we predominately saw ones that weren't an option for us, for one reason or another.  Any that we liked enough to consider putting an offer on were under contract before we had a chance to do so.  It was getting discouraging - we thought we wouldn't be able to find something by the time our house sold.

We had showings for our "exit" home almost every day for a couple weeks starting the day it went on the market.  There were multiple second showings and one "almost" offer, and then, an offer came through!  Wohoo!

The SAME day we got the offer on our house, we saw THE house for the first time.   (By "THE," I mean THE one we decided to put an offer on...THE one God was saving just for us...THE one we loved the most...THE one that had nearly everything we were looking for, and more!)

We stood in awe of God's timing that evening we saw the house for the first time.  It had been on the market for over a week with no activity, which was seemingly unheard of during the time (and in the area) we were looking.  We continued to be in awe as all the pieces with the sale of our "exit" home and the purchase of our "target" home fell into place.  He knew it all before we did, and we didn't need to worry about a thing.

And now, it's official!  We've got the keys, started on some improvements (hooray for home ownership...of any home...in any condition - there's always something to work on), started moving our things in, and can't wait to continue on our marriage journey in our new-to-us home.

I won't bore you with all the specs here, but we might do so in person if/when you get to come see it!  ☺

Old home...

...new home!

God is GOOD!

Home ownerly,
Kensy

P.S. I've been refraining from posting these pet packing pictures till now.  Please enjoy.  ☺

It's exhausting...

Favorites of the day:

Habitat for Humanity ReStores!!!
(This one is a favorite for the month, really - we've been back sooo many times after discovering one of several in the area.  The best place for DIY-ers, for sure.)
all of our helpers - past, present, and future - We seriously couldn't have done this without you all!  From helping find properties, to gathering boxes, to heavy lifting and cleaning...and all the projects to come - we are so thankful for you giving of your time and talents!
being done packing (PTL!)

IF: 2016

Hey there, friends!

This past weekend, I got to take part in something pretty cool.  "Pretty cool" is an understatement - it was awesome.  Actually, I could use #alltheadjectives to describe it, but I'll just let it speak for itself.

The IF:gathering is an annual international Christian women's conference.  Yes, international.  It was held live in Austin, TX, and women/groups/churches around the world had access to it via webstreaming.  (I've said it before, and I'll say it again: technology amazes me.)

The IF mission is to "gather, equip and unleash the next generation of women to live out their purpose."  This idea had humble beginnings in the heart of a brave woman who found friends to come alongside her and make her dream a reality.  It's pretty amazing to see how God has moved and worked through the process and this year, brought thousands upon thousands of women together to partake in His word, worship, fellowship, and so much more.

So, moving on...

I got to attend one of these gatherings at a local church with about 20 women from our church.

I was so excited to hang out with and get to know these women better, and I was even more excited to hear and learn what God had to say through the speakers, times of worship, and conversations that were going to take place.  I went into it ready to focus and try my best to let go of all distractions.

And then, Satan showed up...in the form of a neck hair.

I know - probably the strangest sentence you've read today...and probably the strangest sentence I've written...ever.

But it's the truth.  Hear me out, here.

Yes, I get neck hairs.  I always thought they wouldn't be a thing in my life until my "later years."  I thought maybe the chin hairs would make their appearance first.  But, low and behold, I've been blessed with random, wayward hairs on my neck for a few years, now.  And here's the more embarrassing thing: once I am aware of their existence, I am obsessed with ridding myself of them until they've been cleanly removed from their unwelcome place on my neck.  I can't handle it.  It's a problem.

So, needless to say, when I discovered one of these feral follicles right before we began the opening praise and worship set of the IF:gathering, I was done for.  All of my hopes and dreams of going into this event sans distractions went out the window.

Yeah, this sounds funny and weird and may seem a little tongue-in-cheek, but honestly, I was really bummed about it.  I truly believe Satan used the open door of my neck-hair-distraction to let all the other worries, doubts, to-do's, and countless other distractions I was so desperately trying to keep out walk right in.

I tugged and pulled at that little sprout of a hair for a solid 5 minutes before discretely unsheathing the tweezers from the itty-bitty Swiss army knife I keep in my purse (yep).  Those didn't do the trick, either.  (I don't know if the ladies around me witnessed any of this, despite my discreteness, but if ya'll did, thanks for ignoring it. ☺)  I. was. so. annoyed.  And I refused to get up and go to the bathroom to take care of it.

So, in my discouragement, I literally prayed, "God, please help me get this neck hair out, so I can focus completely on you and your Word."

And guess what?  He showed up - in such a real, tangible way.  I got that neck hair out - with my fingernails, no less - a few minutes later and before the worship set was over.  I can't explain the sense of relief, joy, humor, and awe that came over me.  Seriously.

I know - this sounds so, so ridiculous.  And yeah - it's pretty embarrassing, seemingly trivial, and perhaps TMI.  But I wouldn't share it if I didn't think there was some merit in it.  It's just one of those times I felt so heard and recognized by God.  I don't always recognize or remember times like this, so I clung to the moment.  And I wanted to share it, because it meant so much to me...I can't really explain it.  But thanks for letting me try.

I still feel really silly about it.  You're probably thinking, "Really?  All this over a neck hair?"  But, yes.  That's what Satan chose to use and that's what God chose to use to, once again, reveal His power over Satan.  Mysterious ways, am I right?

And then, there was the rest of the conference!  So, so much truth was spoken through this gathering of amazing women (and a couple men) who shared their stories, their hearts, and the words to which God had led them.  I'd really love to share it ALL with ALL of you, but that would probably take a day or two.  So, maybe we can meet for coffee or lunch, or maybe have a phone date, and I can tell you what I learned.  And/or maybe I'll write about it someday.

For now, though, I'll leave you with this thought:

What IF we lived like Jesus did?  What IF we loved like He loved?

In Him,
Kensy

P.S. I just remembered I wrote about something similar a couple years ago here.  Satan fights a constant battle.  Aren't you so glad God is on our side?!

Favorites of the day:

building relationships with church friends

(building relationships, period - haha)

Zumba!

delicious strawberry poke cake from two of the sweetest boys I know

Life Lessons: Marriage Edition - Part 1

Hello, dear readers!

In honor of our first wedding anniversary (can you believe it?!), we'd like to share with you some of the (many) lessons we've learned during our first year as a married couple.

So, without further ado, here are 12 lessons we've learned (one for each month, of course) about love, marriage, and life in general:

• It's ok to sleep with both the ceiling fan and the electric blanket on....at the same time.
• Patience is a virtue. Not only the waiting kind, but also the "I've already told you this how many times?" kind.
• A kitchen does not need 5 sets of measuring spoons...or a perfectly alphabetized spice cabinet.
• Make friends with the people at the local home improvement store - there may be days when you see them on 6 separate occasions.
• Sometimes, words can get in the way of good communication.
• True love is knowing what a person is saying when they speak while brushing their teeth.
• Owning a pet who requires the toilet to be inaccessible lest he/she take a sip from the porcelain bowl creates good habits for married life.  Lid always down = seat always down = win/win
• There is indeed more than one way to skin a cat...and more than one way to load the dishwasher. (We know only one of these from experience.)
• Adventure can be found in your own backyard...so long as the power lines are loose and a squirrel needs to practice his high-wire routine.
• Car time = talk time. How often do we take time to sit next to each other and just talk without distractions in our daily lives? We've found that taking advantage of this opportunity while driving/riding in the car together (esp. on long road trips) can lead to some really quality and necessary conversations that may not have happened, otherwise.
• Being willing to "go halvsies" can drastically cut down on decision-making time. 
• There is a married version of yourself that you (and your spouse) don't know exists till after you've said "I do."

Perhaps you can relate...perhaps you disagree...perhaps something provoked a new thought for you.   Either way, let us know!  We love learning more...and we love hearing from you!

Like I said, we've learned many more than 12 lessons, but will leave it at that, for now.  Thank you to all who have helped us learn these and many other things during this marriage journey of ours.  We sure have been shown lots of love and support along the way!

Marriage is an adventure, for sure, and I'm so glad to be on it with my sweet husband.  We are loving every minute/experience/new memory and are excited for more to come!

Paperly,

Kensy (and Bryant)

;-)

Favorites of the day:

my husband

our anniversary trip!!!!  (more to come on that one ☺)

frosted animal crackers

FULL life

My dear, faithful readers,

You're probably wondering if I've forgotten the password to my Blogger account...or if I've lost the ability to type...or if the heat has melted my laptop and rendered any updates unpostable...or if I've given up for good on this journey of the written type.

Not one of those scenarios is true (though losing my laptop to the heat has sure seemed plausible lately!).  Rather, I've just been working to further find my niche here in KC, and I'm ready to play the "open book" card and tell you about it.

I'll be completely honest in sharing the fact that this transition hasn't been all roses and butterflies...or ponies and rainbows, for that matter.  It's been tricky (a word I use more than I realized - one of the boys I nanny for has started using it...in conjunction with scrunching up his face in the most adorable way).

Yes, I love being a wife and supporting/caring for/enjoying time with my husband.  Yes, I like being able to help a wonderful family out by caring for their precious boys whenever they need me to do so.  Yes, I enjoy meeting new people and making connections in order to not only build my clientele, but also to build relationships here.  Yes, I appreciate and take advantage of this season in life when I have ample time to myself and can do what I want when I want.

All that said, however, I found myself having a hard time being content (speaking of...you might remember the post I once wrote about contentment).  I felt like I didn't have a lot to show for this new life I'd entered into; like I wasn't truly accomplishing anything, contributing to society, or using my God-given skill set to the fullest.  And I'm realizing this might also be why I haven't written a blog post in the recent past...I haven't really felt like I have anything to write about, I guess.

My life in Lincoln (and Topeka, for that matter) was FULL - I knew a lot of people, I did a lot of things, and I had a lot of friends.  I know those seem like fairly broad statements, but that doesn't make them less true.  I was used to completing myriad tasks in short time frames, having many musical outlets for practice/performance/collaboration, finishing large projects after months of problem-solving and much effort, seeing and furthering the progress of many students in a week's time, being very involved in church and church-related activities, and never being at a loss for things to do or people to see.   

After leaving those things behind, I found myself realizing how much weight those aspects of life carried and contributed to my feelings of accomplishment and self-worth.  I won't go so far as to say I was feeling worthless, but like I said, I wasn't feeling like I had much to say when asked, "So, what are you doing in KC?"

By the grace of God, and with a little help from my husband and those closest to me, though, I recently had a little epiphany: my KC life is equally FULL - just in different ways and with different "things!"  I told you about some of those things in a previous post, and am excited to tell you more, but what I want to make clear as I wrap up this little-glimpse-into-my-heart post is that I am becoming more and more content with my "new life."  I'm recognizing the ways I am and can be using my gifts.  I'm meeting new people and forming new relationships.  I'm continuing to enjoy the time I spend making our house a home and serving my husband.  I'm finding new "things" to do and ways to help out and contribute to the greater good.  I'm embracing the new place and new life to which God has called me...and truly loving married life.

I'd like to thank you all for reading.  I hesitated to write all this out, much less post it, but I'd also like to be honest and share my life - good and bad, ups and downs - in hopes that you might be able to relate in some way.  I also know a lot of you really do care, and I appreciate that very much!

In other news...the front flower bed has continued to take off!

One last thing: I'd like to give a quick shout out to my awesome brother and the amazing woman he has asked to be part of our family!  Please join me in congratulating them on their upcoming wedding and praying for blessings on their marriage.  ☺

Thanks again!

Love,

Kensy

Favorites of the day:

Andy Stanley's "Brand: New" series

Netflix

WEDDING WEEKEND!!

Our NEW Schedule!

Dear friends,

This post has been a long time coming, and I'm so very happy to be sharing it with you.  I'll provide some back story in a moment, but right now, I'd like to tell you that next Monday will be Bryant's first day at his NEW JOB!!!

As many of you know, he had been looking for a new position (preferably with a new company) since before he met me.  The main reason, at that point, being the schedule (he was working 5:30 p.m. - 6:00 a.m. four days a week).  Granted, it wasn't a very aggressive search before I came into the picture, but with a new reason to be available during the day and on weekends, his efforts increased during our engagement...but to no avail.

As you also may know, we went ahead with plans (i.e. getting married...me moving to KC...him keeping his current position...), even though his schedule wasn't ideal.  His diligent, persistent search continued as we began our married life together.

I always knew what his schedule was and some of the challenges that came with it, but I didn't fully understand it till I was living it.  I won't bore you with mundane details of our daily in-and-outs, but in a nutshell: we had about 2-3 waking hours together each working day - and usually the beginning of his day was the middle of my day, which was also hard to get used to.  The schedule was further complicated by him being "asked" to work on weekends with only a day or two's notice.  AND, from about a week before Christmas up to only a couple weeks ago, his schedule changed on almost a weekly basis, and he was working 6-7 days a week, anywhere from 8 to 12+ hour shifts.  Vacation days were basically prohibited and sick days were frowned upon.

Yeah...

I know there are people who work/live with similar (or worse) schedules and have for years.  Some prefer it, but others don't have a choice, and my heart goes out to them.  I don't mean to be dramatic or throw a pity party, but suffice it to say, the "work schedule thing" didn't make the "getting used to marriage thing" any easier.  That said, I can't say enough how much I appreciate Bryant's hard and consistent work in such a draining and not-uplifting position...and with so little complaining.  He recognized how hard it was on me, even if I wasn't the one spending 12 hours at work, and always made sure to put my needs first and make what little time we had together count.

We had been praying daily for a daytime position, period, and maybe with a good company and other perks...and that's exactly what we got!  The offer came on Bryant's birthday, no less!  He was as excited as I think I've ever seen him (remember - I didn't see him before our wedding ☺) to go to work the night he put in his two weeks - haha!  It's their loss, for sure, but he will be taking the skills he's gained while there to bigger and much better places...starting next week.  ☺

Our sincere thanks go out to many of you for your prayers, listening ears, flexibility, and support through the last few (and/or many) months.  God is good, and He absolutely works all thing out for the good of those who love Him and in His perfect time.

We have learned a lot through this first leg (or few steps) of our journey.  From now on, we will be forever thankful for quiet evenings together, same bedtimes, free weekends, and lunch breaks at noon instead of 11:00 p.m.  We will make the most of our time, using it to strengthen our marriage, build and grow other relationships, help others, and enjoy the blessings of each day.

This occasion definitely called for celebratory balloons!

Praising the Lord,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

my awesome husband

our bread machine

new hobbies
this awesome new phone case I received as a sweet, thoughtful gift:

I said yes!!!

Hey, strangers!

I told you once upon a time that I wasn't going to apologize for any lapses between posts...and I'm not going to.  I don't think you'll mind the wait when you finish reading this one, though.  ☺

As those of you who are my Facebook friends already know, I've been dating a handsome guy for a few months, now.  Those of you who just read this blog occasionally may have read between the lines (pun intended) and noticed a few hints at a change in relationship status, lately...maybe.  

Anyway, I had decided when I started this blog that I wouldn't post anything about a boy and/or relationship until there was a ring involved.  So, I didn't...and I waited (as you know) for my "someone special" to make his entrance into my life.  And guess what?!  He did, and he asked me to marry him, and I said yes!!!

I've been waiting so long to share our story, and am so excited to do so, now!  If you're not interested in reading about it all, I won't be offended...but I know quite a few of you are, so I'm going to try to be as thorough as possible.  (Would love to share all this in person with ALL of you, of course, but we all know how life doesn't always make that possible...)

So...here's our story:

Bryant and I met via Christian Mingle last fall after I'd signed up for the site in late July.  I had witnessed quite a few successful online dating relationships develop into marriages, and after attending a friend's wedding (they met via Christian Mingle) and hearing a few other success stories there, then receiving a promotional e-mail offering a hefty discount on the membership fee (you know how I love a good bargain!), I decided to give it a shot.

We started corresponding mid-September, and after a few weeks of daily, extensive e-mails, he asked to meet in person.  So, in mid-October, he drove to Lincoln to take me to dinner (he planned it all, even though he'd never been here!  (He lives in Kansas City.)).  It went well enough for me to agree to his request to "do it again sometime," and the rest is history.  ☺  

Since we started officially dating in early November, we were able to take advantage of the holidays and meet each other's families fairly early-on in our relationship.  There are so, so many things I want to tell you about him, but I'll leave it at this: You know how high my standards are, and he exceeds them in so many ways!  Also, he's an engineer...and likes to cook...and is super funny...and smart...and thoughtful...  ☺

At the beginning of this year, his (wonderful!) family invited me to join them on a trip to NYC they'd be taking in May.  I've always wanted to go to NYC and couldn't imagine a better opportunity, so I accepted the invitation!

Fast forward to a week (or so) ago:

Bryant, his sister, his parents, and I were in NYC...and had been for a couple days.  It was Bryant and I's 6-month anniversary.  We'd just finished a yummy breakfast at a great bakery there and were going to head to the Metropolitan Museum of Art after a quick stop at the F.A.O. Schwarz toy store.  We got to the store about a half hour before they opened, though, and I was trying to tell everyone that we didn't need to wait around just so I could see the big piano...especially since the Charles James exhibit we were on our way to see at the Met was pretty much the reason for the whole trip!  Everyone assured me that it was ok to wait around, though - they wanted to go inside to see it all, too!  

Once we got inside, I was immediately drawn to the penny pressing machine (I collect pressed pennies, so am always on the look-out for these souvenirs), but Bryant ushered me up the escalator saying, "We'll get one on the way out, babe."  We made our way to "The Big Piano" upstairs, and as we approached, the line of customers waiting to play it somehow dispersed.  The employees asked us to pose for a picture in front of a green screen (this is standard operating procedure) before asking us to take our shoes off in order to play The Big Piano.  Then, this happened:

Yep.  He asked me if I'd explore the future we'd been talking about with him and, "Will you marry me?" after we'd just played Chopsticks with our feet on The Big Piano.  What?! 

We'd been talking about the future quite seriously leading up to this, so I knew the question was coming at some point.  My only request, as far as the proposal went, was to be surprised...and he sure got me!  

If you know me at all, you know how special and wonderful this all was and how much it meant to me...and how many tears were shed afterward!  ☺  Not only did he choose to propose on a meaningful day, but he chose a fun, meaningful venue (for those of you who may have forgotten - I teach piano lessons.  Seriously - could it get more perfect than a giant piano?!), and he (and everyone else in on the plan) kept it a secret from me...AND his family was around to help capture the moment!  I'd never imagined I'd get to have pictures (his sister just happens to be a talented photographer), much less a VIDEO of the moment I got engaged!

Afterward, we got to spend a couple days enjoying the rest of the trip as planned, but as an engaged couple!  It was so, so special to be able to enjoy the quality time together and to celebrate with his family, too!  And we got free dessert at dinner that night...as if the day could get any better!  ☺  

We even got to have a couple mini-engagement-photo-shoots with his sister!  Here are some of the great shots she got:

Did I mention he'd bought me a rose that morning in honor of our 6-month anniversary?  Little did I know he had that gorgeous ring for me in his pocket!!  He also wrote me a letter to read afterward, since we were in public and he had lots he wanted to say to me.  ☺

I am so, so excited and blessed to be marrying into Bryant's family!  His mom made me an "Almost Mrs." shirt and cute bag with my "new" initials, and his sister bought me my first wedding magazine.  So very sweet and thoughtful!  A huge "thank you" to them for making the trip and proposal possible...and so special.

It's been so much fun to share our news this past week.  Thank you to those of you who have already shared your excitement in various ways!  My students, especially, have had some pretty priceless reactions and comments.  ☺  One 2nd-grade-boy whose mom had shared the news with him prior to his lesson said before starting to play his first assigned piece, "So, who is he?"

As is probably obvious, I could go on and on about how great it all was and has been...and about how much I love my fiancé.  I'm going to be done gushing, though (and hope to get a post about the rest of the amazing NYC trip written, at some point...and maybe one about long-distance relationships...and God's perfect timing), and let someone else do the talking for a bit.

I asked Bryant if he'd like to share anything as part of this post, and he graciously agreed to drop you all a line, or two.  I've never had a guest writer on "The Scoop," but who better to be the first than the man with whom I'm going to spend the rest of my life? ☺  Here's what he had to say:

Those of you who have known Kensy for a while know how wonderful she is.  I have had the privilege of getting to know her recently and have come to realize what an amazing person she is…which is why I asked her to marry me last week.  She said YES!!!!  I am very much looking forward to spending the rest of my life with her when October finally arrives.  Haha.

From the first date walking around the Haymarket, to the Giant Piano, and all the calls, emails, text messages, and face-to-face time in between, I have been learning how great Kensy is for me.  I never understood the people that said, '"When you know they are the right one, you just know…"  Now, I do understand that statement, and I am so grateful that God brought her into my life.

I can't wait for you all to meet him!

That's all for now, dear friends.  Thank you for reading - I know that was a long one.  Hopefully, it was worth it, though. ☺

Engagingly,

Kensy

P.S. Yes, he said October.  ;-)

Favorites of the day:

my newest piece of jewelry!

seeing and celebrating with friends and family

generosity

he is real...but so is God

Hello dear friends and readers,

I recently had a sort of epiphany, and if you don't mind, I'm going to try to hash it out "on paper" in hopes that you might be able to relate, provide some insight, or just need something to read this evening.

I'd like to start by saying I consider myself a fairly positive person...and "fairly" may not be a strong enough word.  I strive to find the good in all situations and people, find joy in the smallest things (figuratively and literally), and been called "terminally cheerful."  Needless to say, I'm a "glass half full" kind of girl to the core...(this may not come as a surprise to those of you who know me well...or know me at all).  ☺

All that said, there have been times in my life (some more recently than others) that I have found it difficult to maintain my positivity, find my joy, and/or see the good in a given situation.

Examples include:

• A moment of disagreement causes me to doubt an entire friendship.
• Missing out on an evening activity causes me to resent my work schedule.
• A single matter in need of compromise/middle ground rather than being in total agreement in all matters causes me to question the relationship as a whole.
• A "closed door" of opportunity causes me to throw in the towel and not even look for the "open window."

These seeds of doubt/confusion grow into small ferns...bushes...even trees and cast their shadow on all of the good things in which I'm so accustomed to easily finding joy.  (I feel like this sounds like some sort of depression medication commercial...it's not.)  My first instinct is to mask these feelings and deal with them myself.  Past experience (and common sense), however, has proven this to be a relatively futile means of coping.

What hit me today is that these negative feelings/emotions/thoughts that throw off my positive groove are not coincidence - this negativity has to be coming from somewhere.  I'd be crazy to not be joyful about the job(s) I've been blessed with...or about the fact I have a job, period.  I'd be out of my mind to think a loved one or friend loves me less because of one little point of conflict.  I'd just be wrong to think God would deny me one opportunity without presenting another.  Right?  Right.

I came to the conclusion that feelings of doubt, confusion, and insecurity are coming from Satan.  I don't really know why it took me so long to realize/articulate/embrace/understand this truth.  I know I should be in the practice of being on the lookout for evil in my life, but I'm not, really.  I attribute this lack of practice to my optimistic demeanor (see above).

As I thought about it all more, I realized how much sense it makes that the things that seem to not make sense in my life (i.e. the doubt, negativity, etc.) are coming from someone who does not have my best interests at heart.  Satan is ever-present in this world, and we must, must, must be constantly on the lookout for him and the lies he spreads.  "...He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies." -John 8:44

So, what should my(our) plan of action be when (I almost said "if and when," but there isn't really an "if" in this matter) this negativity shows up in my(our) thoughts and mind?

Pray.  Pray, pray, pray.  "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." - James 4:7

Like I said - my first instinct has always been to "deal with it" on my own.  But how can I possibly expect to combat Satan on my own?!  Ha!  Silly me.  Therefore, here I am...♫"standin' in the need of prayer..."♪ (Sorry...I couldn't resist.)  Seriously, though - I can't do it alone.  We can't do it alone.  So, if you're a praying person, I'm asking for your help.  Please pray that I am able to recognize and resist Satan's lies and retain my ability and desire to find good, joy, understanding, and security in all God has and will continue to bless me with.

I'd also like to encourage you to pray this for yourself...and for your loved ones.  Don't let Satan get the best of you.  "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." Ephesians 6:11

Thank you, in advance.  ☺

I hope you have a really lovely week!

Prayerfully,

Kensy

P.S. I'm sure there are many more passages of Scripture I could've referenced...feel free to chime in if you have any to add...or any thoughts...or anything, period! 

Favorites of the day:

leftover Papa John's pizza

50+ degree weather in January

the movie "Frozen" (Seriously, if you haven't seen it, you need to!)

Good tears

Hey, all!


This past weekend, I got to witness the marriage of one of my good college friends to the man of her dreams!  It was a beautiful ceremony (as were all the festivities!) - such a testament to God's faithfulness.  I was reminded of the perfect plan He has for each of us and how intently we need to trust His timing in our lives.


For me, weddings pretty much always mean tears (of joy and happiness).  This was definitely not an exception.  I hadn't had a "good cry" in awhile, so once I started, I wasn't to be stopped...for the whole weekend, it seems!  Here are most of the instances that evoked tears for me this past weekend:

• hymn/song selections before the wedding ceremony even began
• two grandsons kissing their grandmother's check after escorting her to her seat at her grandaughter's wedding
• groom seeing his stunning bride for the first time
• hymn/song selections during the ceremony
• beautifully choreographed first dance
• Maid of Honor's speech
• Best Man's speech
• various points during a Dave-Matthews-Band-centered worship service (esp. the song "He Loves Us")
• the song "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz (video with a beautiful explanation of why he wrote it and a live performance - click here)
• this proposal video: click here (please watch this - soooo cool)

Such a wonderful celebration of life and love happening amongst the various tragedies/illnesses/unfortunate circumstances that have hit close to home, lately, leaves me with many more thoughts on all these situations.  We won't delve into all that, for now, though.  All I know is I am so very thankful to be so very blessed.


I haven't posted much about Charlie, recently, so for those of you who have been missing this segment of the "scoop," here you go!  (Those who could care less can skip past the pictures.)

I had just washed this (his cat carrier/time-out spot) out and was still washing the blanket that goes inside before putting the lid and door back on.

He felt the need to make use of it right at that moment, though.

Also - it was his 2nd birthday yesterday!

Typical.

Better.

No, I didn't throw him a party.  FYI - pictures in a hat was the extent of the festivities...and a "special" can of food. There were no balloons, candles, singing, etc.


Speaking of balloons - did you know the supply of helium on the earth is quickly disappearing?!  Look it up...


Tearfully (not really - it just fit the bulk of the body of this post),
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

birthday celebration staff meetings

flexibility (in scheduling, etc.)

sugar snap peas from Mom's garden