Thursday, July 16, 2015
My dear, faithful readers,
You're probably wondering if I've forgotten the password to my Blogger account...or if I've lost the ability to type...or if the heat has melted my laptop and rendered any updates unpostable...or if I've given up for good on this journey of the written type.
Not one of those scenarios is true (though losing my laptop to the heat has sure seemed plausible lately!). Rather, I've just been working to further find my niche here in KC, and I'm ready to play the "open book" card and tell you about it.
I'll be completely honest in sharing the fact that this transition hasn't been all roses and butterflies...or ponies and rainbows, for that matter. It's been tricky (a word I use more than I realized - one of the boys I nanny for has started using it...in conjunction with scrunching up his face in the most adorable way).
Yes, I love being a wife and supporting/caring for/enjoying time with my husband. Yes, I like being able to help a wonderful family out by caring for their precious boys whenever they need me to do so. Yes, I enjoy meeting new people and making connections in order to not only build my clientele, but also to build relationships here. Yes, I appreciate and take advantage of this season in life when I have ample time to myself and can do what I want when I want.
All that said, however, I found myself having a hard time being content (speaking of...you might remember the post I once wrote about contentment). I felt like I didn't have a lot to show for this new life I'd entered into; like I wasn't truly accomplishing anything, contributing to society, or using my God-given skill set to the fullest. And I'm realizing this might also be why I haven't written a blog post in the recent past...I haven't really felt like I have anything to write about, I guess.
My life in Lincoln (and Topeka, for that matter) was FULL - I knew a lot of people, I did a lot of things, and I had a lot of friends. I know those seem like fairly broad statements, but that doesn't make them less true. I was used to completing myriad tasks in short time frames, having many musical outlets for practice/performance/collaboration, finishing large projects after months of problem-solving and much effort, seeing and furthering the progress of many students in a week's time, being very involved in church and church-related activities, and never being at a loss for things to do or people to see.
After leaving those things behind, I found myself realizing how much weight those aspects of life carried and contributed to my feelings of accomplishment and self-worth. I won't go so far as to say I was feeling worthless, but like I said, I wasn't feeling like I had much to say when asked, "So, what are you doing in KC?"
By the grace of God, and with a little help from my husband and those closest to me, though, I recently had a little epiphany: my KC life is equally FULL - just in different ways and with different "things!" I told you about some of those things in a previous post, and am excited to tell you more, but what I want to make clear as I wrap up this little-glimpse-into-my-heart post is that I am becoming more and more content with my "new life." I'm recognizing the ways I am and can be using my gifts. I'm meeting new people and forming new relationships. I'm continuing to enjoy the time I spend making our house a home and serving my husband. I'm finding new "things" to do and ways to help out and contribute to the greater good. I'm embracing the new place and new life to which God has called me...and truly loving married life.
I'd like to thank you all for reading. I hesitated to write all this out, much less post it, but I'd also like to be honest and share my life - good and bad, ups and downs - in hopes that you might be able to relate in some way. I also know a lot of you really do care, and I appreciate that very much!
In other news...the front flower bed has continued to take off!
One last thing: I'd like to give a quick shout out to my awesome brother and the amazing woman he has asked to be part of our family! Please join me in congratulating them on their upcoming wedding and praying for blessings on their marriage. ☺
Favorites of the day:
Andy Stanley's "Brand: New" series