Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Hey there!  

So, I've had some conversations recently about the single life, and I've come to realize there are many preconceived notions about single people, especially single women.  I'd like to make some clarifications about what I feel "single" is and is not:

Disclaimer: I do not at all mean to offend or upset anyone - single or otherwise.

Single is not:
-being desperate.
-sitting at home alone.
-hanging out just with other single people.
-agreeing to be set up or go out with just anybody.
-resenting anyone who is in a relationship.
-worrying about someone being jealous when getting special attention from waiters, mechanics, etc. - haha

Single is:
-keeping my own schedule without being accountable to another.
-appreciating friendships with guy friends.
-being available to meet and get to know new people as well as spend quality time with not-new☺people.
-appreciating and learning from friends/people in relationships.
-appreciating and learning from single friends/people.
-becoming comfortable with and remaining steadfast in who I am as a person, woman, future wife, and future mother.
-developing/solidifying my "wants/needs" list where a husband is concerned.
-being patient and faithful in knowing God's got it all under control.

This is not to say I don't have my emotional "ups and downs."  There are days when I'd like nothing more than to find my Prince Charming and get married already, but there are also days when I am really glad I don't have a man in my life.  There are days when I'm so happy for those in beautiful marriages and days when I'm green with envy of them.  Overall, though, this goes back to me being truly happy with where I am in life.  I will admit, however, that it's taken me awhile to come to and stay in this content frame of mind.  There was a point in my life when I took matters into my own hands and basically made finding a mate the focus of my life (hence the on-line (surprise!) and speed dating experiments).  That probably sounds more extreme than it was, but it wasn't what I needed to be doing or thinking about as much as I was.

I'm really looking forward to the single women's group at church, because it will potentially provide encouragement, affirmation, and accountability in many areas in which we may all struggle.  There is a lot of wisdom to be gleaned from others (especially those older than myself), and I feel like I have a little bit to pass on, too.

I'd also like to clarify that none of this means I'm not excited about my (God-willing) future relationship/husband/marriage or the journey that will take me/us there. 

Perhaps you agree with these "definitions" and thoughts...perhaps you don't.  Either way, I'd love to hear what you think on the subject.

Enjoy the rest of the week,

Favorites of the day:
After I changed into my "teacher clothes" after nannying today, the 4-yr.-old I nanny for hugged me good-bye, did a double-take, and said, "You look pretty!"
the fact that Charlie is sooooo entertained by a bendy straw - he's been playing with the same one for a couple days, and it keeps him occupied for at least 15 mins. at a time
swimming workouts


  1. Light/lite reading?!...maybe...maybe not. :-)
    Sounds like you've got it all in amazingly proper perspective, whichever way God takes you. Reminds me that we watched "The Dilemna" last night with Q,...halve ewe scene it?

  2. I read this replacing the word "single" with Kensy, and then this makes sense. I think this is good/healthy. However, in no way would I agree that a single person couldn't be desperate, in the same way someone in a relationship could be desperate. It simply doesn't make sense to try to clarify a word with this kind of list, but a person, absolutely.