The Hardest Decision

I'm wondering whether or not I should be writing about this while it's so fresh, but I'm going to so that:
1. I remember what happened and what I'm feeling,
2. I can share with you in one fell swoop, and
3. If you couldn't already tell, writing is sometimes the best way I can/know how to process things.

So...

We had to put Charlie down today.

Because I know you're wondering:
He had been throwing up for the last day and half, or so, and the last day was barely moving and just not acting himself, at all.  It's been a very full/crazy couple of weeks for us, and this week is no exception, but I was able to find someone to come stay with Jacob today (on his birthday) during his nap, so I could get Charlie checked out.  Was thinking it would be a quick trip with maybe some meds prescribed, or something.

Come to find out, though, he had a urinary blockage that would require expensive sedation, treatment, and hospitalization to remedy it.  As the doctor was explaining it, I thought, "Well, that sounds treatable, but expensive." and it was.  When I asked if there were any other options, she said, basically, "It's this, or putting him down."  Cue the tears.  That truly hit me (hard) out of left field.

Knowing what to spend on pets is hard no matter what your financial circumstances, in my opinion, but especially for us, as we've just come out of a fairly large home renovation project.  I hated to have finances be a factor in deciding what to do today, but I would be lying if I said they weren't a small factor...and that hurts me to say/type.

The larger factor, and what ultimately made the decision (a little) easier, however, was that this "operation" and treatment didn't guarantee it wouldn't happen again.  It was also not guaranteed that Charlie would be strong enough to come out of the sedation after not having eaten or drank for so long.  He would have had to be on meds for a bit after the operation and special prescription food forever.

Bryant was not able to leave work, but my bestie, Katie, kindly offered to come be with me at the vet when I called her barely able to speak.  Can't say how much I appreciated having someone there to cry with me.  It was just so, so very difficult to know what to do.

What makes me most sad, I think, is not having such a wonderful playmate for Jacob living in our home.  Jacob loved Charlie so much, and even when he saw him last, and Charlie was barely responding, Jacob was loving on him and cooing about him, all the same.  I'd always been looking forward to them playing together, but I also knew the day would come when we had to say goodbye to Charlie, and I'd wondered how we would explain it to Jacob and how he would feel.  Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise in that we won't have to do that, now (though we will have to say goodbye to Pepper, at some point).  He's aware enough to say, "Hmm...kitty...?" in the sweetest voice as he looks for him, but he will soon forget and not know to be sad, and that's ok.

Charlie was with me through the biggest changes in my life (life after college, marriage, moving, motherhood), and though I know he lived a good life, I fear I took advantage of his constant presence.  I don't think it's hit me, yet, that he's not coming back.  Perhaps it will the first time I sit down during naptime and don't have an immediate lap-warmer.  Or the next time I open a can of tuna and don't hear little paws come running.  I wonder if/how Pepper will notice.  I wonder if/when Jacob will ask about him.

But mostly I wonder if I made the right decision.  I know I probably did, but it all happened so quickly, and I was so, so unprepared.  I'm not writing this to fish for encouragement, sympathy, or affirmation.  I'm just being honest as I process something I've never dealt with before - something I never thought to prepare myself to deal with.

I know there is no way for anyone else to understand exactly what I'm feeling, and I will not be able to articulate it all, but I know some of you have had to go through similar experiences.  If that's you, I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry for the way having to make that kind of decision made(makes?) you feel.  There's no way of knowing if losing him would have been any easier had I known it was coming, had he been older (he'd just turned 9), had he been sick longer, etc., but I think I can say for sure that it would have been easier had I not had to make the decision myself.

I know peace will come.  I know time will pass.  I know he lived a good and full life and was well-loved.  But I also know I'm just really sad and wish he was still going to be in our family for the foreseeable future.  As of now, thinking about Charlie and the fond memories of him does not make me sad - I'm glad for them.  Seeing other cats does not make me sad - I still love cats.  Thinking about what could've been - that's what makes me sad.  He was more a part of my life than I realize, I think, and he will be greatly missed.

Katie graciously obliged when I asked her to take one last picture of us.
(He was just sleeping here.)
♥

Sadly,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

Jacob's excitement about his birthday festivities (and the fact that he kept wanting to sing "Happy Birthday" to me every time someone sang it to him)

family and friends

We're having a baby!

This is not a drill.

I know you've been "burned" by me before with sharing pretend big news, but this time, I'm not pulling on your leg.  (I promised I wouldn't do it again after that one post...)

We're actually having a baby!

Here are some common questions we've received upon sharing this news with people in person, along with our answers:

When are you due?
mid-July

Will you find out the gender?
Yes.

How have you been feeling?  
Eh.  Ok...haha.  I keep telling people I definitely know there's something different going on, because I haven't wanted to eat anything, really, for the past month+.  Who am I?!?!  I'll leave it at that, for now; more details upon request.

Are you excited?  
Duh!  haha - jk.  Yes, we're so excited!

Have you started prepping the nursery?  
Kind-of.  We (and by "we," I mean my amazingly-handy husband) are in the middle of finishing up several house projects.  Once they're done, we'll be able to (finally!!!!!) move things downstairs, including the guest room.  Then, and once we find out the gender, we'll be able to focus more on the nursery.

What have you been craving?
This is what I always like to ask expectant mothers - I think it's so interesting!  Come to find out, though, my experience with "cravings," so far, has not been so much what sounds good on top of my normal diet, but rather, it's been the only things that sound good, period.  And they change daily.  (Bless my sweet husband.)  Some "regulars" have been cereal, fruit juice popsicles, grilled cheese/fried egg sandwiches, and banana/PB/marshmallow cream roll-ups (these were already a thing for us - not a crazy pregnancy creation).  But really - these are just a few of the "Yeah, I think that sounds good..." items.  More extensive list upon request.

Any questions we forgot to include?  Ask away!

In case you missed it, this was our official announcement for the world of social media:

I thought I'd treat you, dear readers, to some behind-the-scenes shots of this gem.  ☺

Sometimes, neither of them looked.

Sometimes, Charlie looked.

Sometimes, Pepper looked.

(kinda)

And sometimes, she stuck out her tongue.

Sometimes, they got tired of waiting for treats...

Sorry to not have video documentation of this ordeal...I'm sure it would've provided even more entertainment.

Anyway, that's our news!  Thanks to those of you who have shared in our excitement!

More later...

Pregnantly,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

pineapple juice/ginger ale/orange sherbet/vanila ice cream NYE punch!

Christmas pictures/letters/correspondence (we didn't send one out this year, for the record)

my hard-working husband ♥

I flew the coop!

Hello, hello, hello, dear friends and readers!

Welcome to the freshly updated "Scoop from the Coop!"

As many of you know, my life underwent a few not-so-minor changes in the recent past, so I thought this blog should reflect accordingly...on a more minor level, perhaps.

Though I'm no longer living at the coop, I'd like to retain the blog title, because...well, I don't think that really requires explanation.  ☺

So, take a deep breath with me, and get excited for more new things to come!

Subjects of upcoming posts to look forward to:
Wedding
Honeymoon
Unpacking/settling in
Charlie & Pepper
Music/Kiddos/Jobs

In the meantime, I really just wanted to drop you all a line and thank you for your patience as I've begun to settle into married life.  Many of you have asked about my blog, new life, and generally how things are going.  I so appreciate your interest, concern, and generosity, and will do my best to keep you posted on the happenings, big and small, in OUR life.

Also, I wanted to share this:
Since fall was so busy with wedding/moving/work/etc., I kind-of missed the all-thing-pumpkin boat.  Terribly sad news, right?  Fear not, though!  Thanks to a recent trip to Oklahoma and my mother-in-law's genius (and our kitchen being unpacked, organized, and in working order (which no small feat)), I have pumpkin aplenty and am making up for lost time this week.  I'm (finally) trying recipes I pinned on Pinterest boards long ago, and have made the following this week:
Whipped Cinnamon Pumpkin Honey Butter
Pumpkin Poppers
Overnight Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls (These are in the fridge getting ready to be baked tomorrow!)

This one's on deck:
Pumpkin Bread with Salted Caramel Drizzled Pumpkin Buttercream

Yum.

That's all, for now.  As usual, thanks for reading, and I'll look forward to filling you in more soon!

Happy holidays, Merry Christmas, and warm wishes to you and yours!

Wife-ly,
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

my HUSBAND!!!

having a well-stocked kitchen

this gal and guy:

♫We wish it was our birthday, so we could party, too - hey!♫

Happy birthday to Charlie - he is one year old today!  The following pictures document our celebration:

I'm pretty sure he was just squinting because of the bright flash, but I'm sure I'll get looks like this while taking pictures of my children someday...and they won't be due to bright lights.

Side view.

He did a surprisingly good job of keeping the hat on - he just complained quite a bit.  : )

A present!

Thanks, mom and dad, for remembering your grandcat on his special day!

No explanation necessary.  : )

I realize that some of you think I'm crazy right now, some are rolling your eyes, and some are laughing knowingly.  Please know that I think this is as ridiculous and funny as most of you probably do...which is why I did it.  I didn't actually celebrate my cat's birthday because I thought he knew it was his birthday.  Just wanted to make that clear.  : )


That's all for now.  Hope you all had a great weekend!


Celebratorily (pretty sure that's not really a word...),
Kensy

Favorites of the day:

family time this weekend!

planning an upcoming trip to Florida!

DQ ice cream cake

There's a new man in my life...

Yep - that's right!  There's a new man in my life.  We just spent the last 20 mins. cuddling, and he's planning on spending the night.  I just met him today, and I can definitely say it was love at first sight!

If you know me at all, you know that this man is probably not my future husband, or even human...and you're right.  (So, you can still be on the lookout for that man!)  Rather, he's a cat!  A kitten, actually.  So really, he probably shouldn't be called a "man."  Maybe a "boy?"  Either way, his name is Charlie, and I love him.  Here's the "how they met" story:

A friend and I went out today intent on finding my kitty companion.  I'd called the humane society yesterday to see if they had any kittens available for adoption.  They had a couple at the shelter, and were also "showcasing" one at a local veterinarian's clinic.  So, we visited the clinic first - this is where Charlie was.  (He went by a different name there, but I liked Charlie better, so that will be his name, now.)  He was everything I was hoping for - friendly, vocal, good motor, didn't use his claws unnecessarily, not scared, curious, etc.  I was pretty sure he was "the one," but we thought we should probably still go to the humane society to check out the other kittens.  They had a few there, but they weren't available to be visited or adopted today.  We took that as a sign, and went back to officially adopt Charlie.

He's 6 months old, 5.4 lbs., short haired, white/brown/black tabby, and sooo sweet.  He's been on my lap every time I've sat down, and is perfectly content to stay there (when he's not nuzzling my neck/face).  He's got the sweetest meow that he uses on occasion and his motor is going almost nonstop.  I have a laser pointer whose red dot Charlie loves to chase, and he likes to watch the computer mouse and things on the TV.

Since I'm going to be gone to work nearly every day, we did a trial run tonight - I left him for a couple hours while I went out to dinner.  I let him have the run of the place (except for the bedrooms - I'm going to try to keep him out of those), and he did just fine!  Everything was in it's place when I got back, and there were no "surprises!"

I feel like such a "mom" and a stereotypical pet owner, but I just wanted to share all this.  I know there are at least a couple people who wanted to know EVERYTHING!  : )

And now, what you've all been waiting for:

Of course, the pictures don't do him justice, but hopefully they give you an idea of what he's like!  You're more than welcome to come visit - just let me know when!!

Thanks for reading and helping me welcome Charlie into my life.  : )

Purrs and nuzzles,

Kensy

Favorites of the day:

I feel like this is pretty obvious...

(Also - the rolls and cinnamon butter at Texas Roadhouse.)

My brother

Happy 2011, everyone! 

If you're preparing yourself to read yet another set of New Year's resolutions, there is no need.  I'm not really a resolution-making girl.  No particular reason...I just think it's better to resolve to meet goals for yourself on a daily basis, rather than a yearly one.


Anyway, onto the meat and potatoes, so to speak, of this post:


I recently returned from a wonderful week spent at home with my family and other loved ones.  Words cannot express how thankful I am for my family (immediate and extended).  Since I don't get to see everyone as often as I'd like, the time we do get to spend together is cherished, and we're always able to pick up where we left off.


One of my favorite family members is my brother.  I won't embarrass him with stories, etc., but I'd just like to express my love for him.  : )  AND I'd like to draw your attention to his amazing mind and skills.  He's always been a builder/creator/problem solver, and these traits have only intensified as he's gotten older.  I attest this not only to my parents' parenting skills and style, but also to Lego's, K'Nex, model cars/boats/planes, and very little time spent playing video/computer games. 


I can't begin to list all of his "creations," but wanted to share the most recent.  In case you don't already know, I'm getting a kitten in the near future (my Christmas present from my family was everything I need to adopt one)!  I was thinking about things I needed to get to entertain my new pet, and figured a scratching post would be a good idea.  Q and I were out looking at them, and he said "I could just make that" to nearly everything we saw.  So, I asked him to "just make one."  A couple hours of work later, this is what he produced:

I'm going to find a fun something-or-other to hang from the dowel.

The best part (other than it being made from scraps in Dad's garage and FREE)...?



He made it collapsible, so I can easily fit it in my car!

He also loves shopping at thrift stores (I made a "gift card" to one of them for his Christmas present).  I don't know how he does it, but he always finds the greatest "treasures" at the greatest prices!  Examples include: Ugg slippers, Sperry shoes (a few pairs, actually, and very cheap), numerous ties/shirts/pants, and a yellow snowsuit from the 80's (he even found matching fur-lined boots on a separate shopping spree!)  If you're ever in the area, have him take you shopping.  It can become quite the adventure.


If you know Q, you know what I'm talking about when I say he's great.  If you don't know him...you should.  : )  I'm very thankful for my brother, for the relationship we have, and for the things he does/builds/makes for me! 

Sisterlyly (haha),
Kensy

P.S.  He's also becoming quite the baker...pizza, cinnamon rolls, soufflés - all from scratch!

Favorites of the day:

the Runza casserole a few friends and I will be having for supper (recipe will be posted upon request)

Clementines